give 'em sh*t, Naomi

It's no wonder Naomi Campbell is permanently pissed off.
She works in the fashion industry, right?
Well, they're so racist, they have no conception of the idea of 'flesh-tone'.

This blew up with a "flesh-colour" gown worn by Michelle Obama. White flesh. Actually, it's a bit porcine pink, as some 'white-folk' are.

Other skin-tone mistakes:

[tone: South Asia chic- Rushdie's future widow]

[tone: Doodle-Berry Bond]

I commend Venus William on her true flesh-tone panties.

You just cannot tell if she's flashing those tennis fans of hers.

[Venus snap trap]

Flesh-tone Quiz- Describe the flesh tone of the following:
1

[leopard? fish net?]

23
4
5
6
7
8
9

10 [ghost white. be-witch-ed white]

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

the problem with balloons and virginity: one prick and they're gone

[tiny bubbles. sing it!]

There must be something wrong with rubbers (prophylactics/raincoats) in this country.
The reason for my gripe? We've been giving the NHS too much work

killing foetuses. 189 000 last year.*

Don't they have something better they could be doing?

So what's the source of the problem?
1
Bad plastic?
Don't use party balloons folks.

2
people too cheap to spring for rubbers?
They can cost around 2 quid each. But when you consider the uterus vaccuum, there are other ways to define costs and benefits.

3
too horny or stupid to have rubbers?
Better to kill the kid. It'll be an idiot with parents like that, and foetal alcohol syndrome.

4
a distinct lack of sex education.
See my sex ed class ideas, from last year.
Problem solved.

By the way, Freakonomics mentioned how the legalisation of the availability of abortions in the US caused a huge fall in the crime rate, 20 years after it started. The reason? What the authors think is that kids who are not wanted or not planned, end up being raised in poor or abusive conditions which lead often to criminal behaviour. No birth, no crime. Can't argue with that.
There's something easier, though. Rubbers have been around since Cleopatra's time.
All the more reason to

think before you dink the pink!

Point of order: Casanova started the habit of using condoms as advertising of prowess,

and as a party trick.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

* against 706 000 live births. 4:1 ratio

checkitout: Post-renaissance science put to good use, from Wikipedia:

In 16th century Italy, Gabriele Falloppio wrote a treatise on syphilis. The earliest documented strain of syphilis, first appearing in a 1490s outbreak, caused severe symptoms and often death within a few months of contracting the disease. Falloppio's treatise is the earliest uncontested description of condom use: it describes linen sheaths soaked in a chemical solution and allowed to dry before use. The cloths he described were sized to cover the glans of the penis, and were held on with a ribbon. Falloppio claimed that an experimental trial of the linen sheath demonstrated protection against syphilis.

After this, the use of penis coverings to protect from disease is described in a wide variety of literature throughout Europe. The first indication that these devices were used for birth control, rather than disease prevention, is the 1605 theological publication De iustitia et iure (On justice and law) by Catholic theologian Leonardus Lessius, who condemned them as immoral. In 1666, the English Birth Rate Commission attributed a recent downward fertility rate to use of "condons", the first documented use of that word (or any similar spelling).
In addition to linen, condoms during the Renaissance were made out of intestines and bladder. In the late 15th century, Dutch traders introduced condoms made from "fine leather" to Japan. Unlike the horn condoms used previously, these leather condoms covered the entire penis.
Giacomo Casanova, in the 18th century was one of the first reported using "assurance caps" to prevent impregnating his mistresses.

Thanks to CCTV, we get cheap snuff videos

Hi. It's been proved that the average person in the cities of the UK is filmed by 300 CCTV cameras per day.
And they call speed bumps 'sleeping policemen'. What about the boobs watching all those tubes?

I was always fascinated by the cop shows that are everywhere on British tv, when they showed how cctv cameras found out who had killed somebody. They follow pedestrians, cars, etc.
I used to think, great work boys.

Then I thought, why isn't any of this snooping actually SAVING any lives. Well, because the cameras are only good for post-mortem investigations.
zoom in on this, cameraman:


[lands on his feet]

[some oil with your salad?]


Stick around for some cctv snuff

bbc: cop car kills, on camera: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/7990879.stm

bird lovers kill cat lovers

Hey y'all. I love taking a chunk out of quadripede owners.
I'm particularly going to hound suburban ones this time.

I sure hope you don't like wild animals, seeing as you feed factory food to, and handle the poop of, a domesticated one. You know, you can take the animal out of the wild, but you can't take the wild out of the animal.

You'll be happy to know that, on average, cat's kill the following number of birds, annually:

UK: 27 million
US: 1.4 billion

Mostly done at night, while you're snoring.
So, save your money and kill the cat, or, put a bell on it. Otherwise you're destroying nature, what's left of it.
Aaah, that was a refreshing rant.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

checkitout:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_7890000/newsid_7894400/7894452.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/575158.stm

a lesson in naked short selling

[just a moment while I take these off]

AAAah. selling shorts while naked, as it should be. If only markets were so innocent.

That's the fun of the English language and noun phrases. Double entendre-city.

Actually, Wikipedia says that naked short-selling is:

Naked short selling, or naked shorting, is the practice of short-selling a financial instrument without first borrowing the security or ensuring that the security can be borrowed, as is conventionally done in a short sale. When the seller does not obtain the shares within the required time frame, the result is known as a "fail to deliver". The transaction generally remains open until the shares are acquired by the seller, or the seller's broker, allowing the trade to be settled.
[sexy stuff, eh?]

Now, what could be wrong with a fictitious share sale?:
One complaint about naked shorting from targeted companies is that the practice dilutes a company's shares for as long as unsettled short sales sit open on the books. This has been alleged to create "phantom" or "counterfeit" shares, sometimes going from trade to trade without connection to any physical shares, and artificially depressing the share price.[16] However, the SEC has disclaimed the existence of counterfeit shares and stated that naked short selling would not increase a company's outstanding shares.[5] Short seller David Rocker contended that failure to deliver securities "can be done for manipulative purposes to create the impression that the stock is a tight borrow," although he said that this should be seen as a failure to deliver "longs" rather than "shorts."[20]
---

You forgot the fraudulent negative-position rumours, spread by brokers, that make a stock's, or country's, fate dive!
more soon

anybody can be somewhat famous for 15 min.s

I wonder if any of you remember watching the Wayne's World movies.
The providers of 'cable' tv are required to provide a channel or channels
for local content.
Perhaps you didn't appreciate that public-access tv was a way for
shy or crazy folks to get on tv, and try stuff to boost their confidence, or learn a trade.
Dan Akroyd and Tom Green started there.

I did it for a while. You'll never see that shown here, but anyway, it
just goes to show you, they'll let anybody do a show if he's got a decent idea,
or if they've got time. The poor quality of most of it proves that 'they're just doing what the law asks for,' and nothing more. It's more democratic than democracy.
It's not that hard to get on, because it takes a certain personality (weird or very driven). Kinda like the blogs of their day, for neurotic people to present sh*t that nobody sees.
Most normal folks would find it weird being on tv that nobody watches, with no production values.
Check this one out, from 1994. Bill Hicks, the great comedian who is no more,
visited a public access show in Houston, his home town.

No news magazine was ever as good as this show.
Set: two lousy chairs, one table with phone, two guys.
[My blog has better production values]
Notice the heavy metal nerd interviewer
(he does the 'Metal show'- d-uuuh).

Bill discussed:
Being kicked off the David Letterman show
because of the God-squaders and pro-lifers not liking his
rather mild Eastern Bunny/Cross/Jesus jokes and his pro-life joke.
He attacks Letterman's desire to keep the advertisers happy
by avoiding controversy, so that he could continue
to make money for NBC and himself.
Bill concluded that he was silenced because of commercial interests.
In fact, Bill was on public access tv because it was the only place
where he could freely denigrate commercial tv.
By the way, at the time, Bill was dying of pancreatic cancer.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

Stay calm, it's just a Miss USA pageant

[pic- Guardian- Nice tan!]

Thank God we haven't got another hypocrital Christian from California (see last year's story below).
This year's winner is of Lebanese background, and she's Muslim.

Joy and Peace to the World
Not so fast.
Tea Party-type wise guys
have found a conspiracy.
It's a Muslim conspiracy to get us to marry
cute Muslim chicks, thus becoming Muslims.
These American racists are so wise! NOT
Jackasses!

I don't care about pageants, but this one will make most of us more hopeful for world peace, except for the racist Americans who are stuck with Rima Fakih for a whole year. They'll probably protest her ribbon-cutting events.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

P.S. Rima should put some weight on.

checkitout: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/18/miss-usa-2010-rima-fakih
by Khaled Diab- Guardian

When beauty contests mix with geopolitics, things can get rather ugly. This was demonstrated last weekend by the crowning of Rima Fakih as Miss USA, the first Arab-American and Muslim to win the title.

The 24-year-old, who moved to the United States from her native Lebanon in the early 1990s, was understandably proud to become the crowned figurehead of American beauty for a year. She, her family and many Arab-Americans also hope her victory will give her embattled and distrusted community a much-needed facelift.

"My father always says, 'You don't know who you are until you know where you come from'. I believe in that," Fakih says.

Her brother, Rabih, believes his sister challenges prevalent western stereotypes of the Muslim woman: "This will show the good part of Arab-Americans. A lot of people think this area of the world is only about people being covered."

The western image of Muslim women is largely shrouded in the veils – in the form of hijabs, niqabs and burqas – of a grand patriarchal cover-up. This partly explains the mirth and amusement derived from stories of Arabs organising beauty contests for their camels and goats, or crowning Miss Beautiful Morals.

Less widely covered or known is the fact that, despite the objections of conservative Muslims, many Arab and Muslim countries run beauty contests of a similar ilk to their western counterparts. In some ways it's hardly surprising that the first Arab-American Miss USA – which I've discovered is actually different from Miss America – should happen to be Lebanese.

...

At another level, this challenges the easy and lazy stereotypes that anti-Muslim bigots depend on for their demonisation. And Fakih's victory has left the influential outer fringes of the conservative right in something of a pickle: they don't like it that an Arab and Muslim has won but are having trouble forming a coherent case against her, so instead they have resorted to bizarre conspiracy theories.

Daniel Pipes, a neocon intellectual closely linked to the former Bush administration, compiled a list of five other Muslim winners of beauty contests on both sides of the Atlantic (mostly minor ones, including Miss Nottingham 2005) asked whether this was "an odd form of affirmative action".

Conservative commentator Debbie Schlussel pulled out all the stops, using Fakih's Shia Lebanese background to brand her a terrorist "Miss Hezbollah" and dismissed the colourful business magnate Donald Trump, who is one of the sponsors of the event, as an Islamic "dhimmi".

"Mark my word. Hezbollah is laughing at us, tonight," Schlussel raged. And why? Obviously, because "one of its auxiliary members won the Miss USA title without having to do a thing to denounce them and their bloody murder of hundreds of Americans".

FOR MORE, CHECK THE GUARDIAN

devil horns rest in peace

What was once a pagan symbol for bull horns, used for warding off the devil or the malocchio (evil eye), became a symbol of heavy metal, thanks to Ronnie James Dio, and his superstitious grandmother.
This puny Pavarotti has just passed away. RIP. He had a 53-year career!!
I saw him live, leading Black Sabbath as a young lad. I was a big fan then, and still like them now.
Some of my favourite Ronnie James songs:





\m/ devil horns! R&R. Rest and repose.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

-check MTV for linking stories on RJD
checkitout: the Guardian
"http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/may/17/ronnie-james-dio-obituary">http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/may/17/ronnie-james-dio-obituary

push the privacy, ya mama

[pic- buycostumes.com]

Every once in a while, I look around at some of the other blogspot blogs. Lately, all I'm finding is family blogs.

Husband, wife and two toothless rugrats.

All I've got say to those parents is this:
Remember when your parents used to show your nude baby pictures to anybody who would
come around?
Remember how you reacted?

cursing,
hopping around,
running away,
hiding under the rug,
kicking the dog,
crying
all the above

well, imagine how your kids are gonna feel when they
realise that they've received thousands of hits
from lord-knows-who on the Internet!

Kids:

1000s of strangers've seen
your drool,
your diapers,
your stunned look.
Please, don't kill your folks.
Just follow the instructions in the video below,
oh, and, go to your grandparents' houses,
find your parents' naked baby pics and post them on Facebook,
where your parents will never look:

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

life imitating art imitating hedge markets

I happened to be listening to the Formula one race today, on the radio.
The 'circus' was in Monte Carlo, the crowning jewel in the worldwide multi-million dollar business of 75 minute races. It's the crowning jewel because Monaco's dripping with money.

No Lidl. Needle exchange has gold-tipped syringes.

The race has been held annually for about 80 years. See below.
Here's a recent version:
Of course, being that it's the stinking rich principality that it is, all kinds of famous and rich folks were hanging around with the matador-style drivers:

J-Lo (two kids later, less of a sex kitten)

Gerard Butler (the latest Russell Crowe)
Michael Douglas (luckiest married bastard on the planet)

This last person was interviewed by BBC 5Live radio, seeing as he has a new movie
for his Gordon Gekko stock-raider character, showing over there in Cannes (pron. /Kanz/), next door.
The interviewer was pretty sharp, and asked something like:

"Doesn't Monte Carlo fit the Greed is Good motto?"*
Douglas then answered: "It epitomises that"
before he changed the subject so as not to get cornered into
a discussion of profligate wealth. He's got a few mill on the side, himself.

I guess it's a little gauche these days to enjoy wealth so openly. What a shame.
You're in the wrong town on the wrong day, pal.
I feel embarrassed, as well, for him.
I guess I should chuck my Deusenberg in the drink.

Actually, this was a case of a 'million dollar car' of its day, circa 1920.
The owner didn't want to pay the import tax at the Swiss border and sent the car
into a lake. Crazy rich f%^&*&kers. He had money to buy it, but not
enough to give some to his offshore-cum-socialist-country.
"Uuuuh. I've got some Liederhosen!? How about that?"

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>
* that was Gekko's motto.