toke on this, bonehead!

Smoking is controversial, right? People harm themselves and we all have to pay the cost of it.
Following are some different perspectives and themes revolving around that old carcinogenic habit.

Chinese philosophy:
ying: "That's what we all need. Fill the hospitals with preventable illnesses."
yang: "Fluck it, I want my tax money to go towards saving my arse."

business:
Smokes, if used correctly, will probably kill you. How do you do quality control on that? ISO 9000DS (for Deadly Sh*t).

sociology:
Ostracising smokers from pubs and bars has decreased smoking.
[music list--> play Dead Man's Party]
But the natural-born rebels amongst us think of themselves as oh-so-cool and independent as they buck the trend.
"Look, I'm cool yet I got FIRE coming out of my pie-hole!"


anthropology 1:
Smoking looks like an ancient pagan ritual, but without the soul.

[www.fotosearch.com]

Anthropology 2:
The control of fire was a major evolutionary step for humanoids. When we thought we could control it by applying it to a cancer-stick, THAT's when we got burnt. We will move on from this stage, much as we did when we stopped looking at the fireplace as entertainment and replaced that by looking at tv. Ooh, another bad example.

religion:
The first European smokers were thought to be devil worshippers. Never have religious zealots been sooo correct.
Fires of hell, parts 1 & 2 [www.fotosearch.com]:


psychology:
It's not what you're burning, it's what's burning YOU.

advertising:
For those brave remaining smokers, here's an ad which will show how a corporation is playing smokers for idiots.
voiceover: these are your lungs:

voiceover: these are your lungs on cigarettes:

[www.fotosearch.com]
[background: music list--> play Breathe]
voiceover: Smoke inhalation, from house fires, can kill you by damaging your lungs. Why would you inhale smoke intentionally?

[www.fotosearch.com]
voiceover: These are tobacco company executives. your good money goes to them. watch them TESTIFY!


They might say "Smoking doesn't cause cancer." What they don't tell you is "Smokers cause cancer to themselves and others."
[background: music list--> play You are in my System]
voiceover: When they were researching cigarettes, it wasn't to find out if they cause cancer, it was to see if nicotine was addictive and how to increase the amount of nic in the mix. As if that wasn't enough, they've added a list of other man-made chemicals like yummy formaldehyde. Why?
Cuz they're experimenting on YOU, and you're paying for it, chump!
Ever feel like you're being manipulated? Ya! We know.

[www.fotosearch.com]

voiceover: Remember Montezuma's revenge? That's nothing compared to tobacco. Europeans nearly killed off the American aboriginals, but Tonto's boys got one back on whitey. Some Native Americans used the smoking of tobacco to celebrate peace treaties (you know, the ones that we broke all the time). As we do, we took the ritual out of it, and abused the weed to death, literally.
Brought to you by the same wizards who ground up the coca leaf into a powder and shoved it up your noses!

[www.fotosearch.com]

natural justice:
The government can make the tobacco dons testify in front of them, but nobody in the government cares when the dons lie.
"Smoking doesn't cause cancer" RIIIIIght!
"We don't spike cigarettes." SUUUUUre!
Pull the middle one. Why can't anybody actually prove them guilty of selling chemical sticks in the guise of cigarettes?
CORRUPTION is the answer, and that includes that of the Societies whose research we blindly fund.

public administration:
The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing (tax comes in to one hand, but even more goes out of the other as expenditure):
It doesn't matter that smoke addicts cost every country 10% of GDP.
Smokes and lobbyists are good for business.
Smoking businesses pay (off) the government in taxes and funding. So, they stay.
Besides, if people stop smoking, the government will go into withdrawl; cash withdrawl.
[Guardian newspaper]

All that we've got now to continue the fight for public health is the stupid messages on packs. A lot of good that does!

Most people can't read Spanish, but here are a few choice curses:
Hoder!
Hijos de puta!
Cabrones de mierda!
Companias de asesinos.
Palos de cancer.


[www.fotosearch.com]

chemical-based life philosophy:
Smokers got all the answers. There's a drug for every situation. Even if fags make their dicks droop, they would just get a prescription for Viagra. Smoking protects! Rumour has it that, in Athens, smoking is considered to be an inoculation against the smog.
[Guardian newspaper]

the human condition:
Is there an antidote for early death? for the ultimate death wish? hmmm.
AND THE STINK? YA, you stink and you can't smell it yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be able to stand yourself.

anthropology 3:
When it all comes down to it, let's follow a Darwinist maxim: Idiots will die at their own hands. Just don't breed!
[Note: most pics here royalty-free from www.fotosearch.com]

Pucker up that anus

[Times online]

I know that I sully myself by talking about this show, but I wanna, okay?
I was somewhat curious about the mix of people, so I watched a few minutes here and there. That's all I can stand because of two natural reflexes:
Within 2 minutes, reflex 1 kicked in. I thought, look at the stupid surroundings. Look at the stupid tricks they make them do. Look at the pettiness of what they show on tv.
Then the next reflex kicks in and I think "what do these people have to gain?" Most of them are famous already and rich. "Are they truly whores for the attention?"
That's a big YUP, pilgrim!
They'll do anything if the camera zooms in on their puckered hynies. It figures that the sociopath, Ulrika the Breakdown Queen, won the thing when you get a whiff of the people who were interested enough in the result to spend money on it. It's the old what's-going-on-over-the-fence mentality.
PSST! It's not real, mates & lasses!

Don't they realise that they've been cheated? Frayed knot.
Their mental age is 9 years & 3 months.
["fantastic journey", indeed. Find it on the music list -->]

why the British read so much

Although this could refer to a large proportion of British people. Blighty with 70 million residents has the same market for books as the US with 4 times the residents. So, this is of importance to publishers. So, pay attention. [music list --> play 'paperback writer']
The people in question are akin to the i-Podders, shutting out the world around them. However, I'm NOT referring to the habit of ignoring others when in public which is a mainstay of any urban dweller's life. Researchers have said that city people have to ignore most of what goes on around them because otherwise their minds would become overloaded. So, we're not talking about that. [music list --> play 'the Passenger']
My main purpose is to discuss why Brits like to read so much when they could be doing something else valuable. We all know that reading enlivens the mind and particularly the imagination. This is something that tellie actually destroys. So, readers have a lively imagination and they enjoy feeding it. However, what about the benefits of being with and interacting with other people. [music list --> play 'I'm bored']
I have the feeling that they typically view others to some degree as a threat. Perhaps they'll be a threat to their safety, their equilibrium, or who knows. Nevertheless, they are most often not willing to chance it. I think that in this way they recede from life, from emotion, from passion.

You say 'emotion' or 'passion' and they think you're either a drunkard, a druggie, a sex fiend, a womaniser, or______[other perversion here].

[music list --> play 'standing in the way of control']
Another reason why the Brits read is that they are rejecting the world of politics. They know what's right, and they know what's right is rarely what happens. I can see that they're so accustomed to their politicians being a pile of lying, self-serving bastards, that they just tune them out, lest they become homicidal with rage, which helps no one. This happens even though electing a major bastard like Bliar can do quite a bit of harm to the country and its image. It's hard to find someone here who is interested at all.
[music list --> play 'Dead man's party'']

London Short Film Festival, short report

short films IN London, not ABOUT London

short attention span? no problem

This went on for 10 days, but not 24:7. Anyway, I only saw two composite shows, because I still have a job.
[music list --> as I tell you the plots, play 'Give it away']

day 1
Friday 16th Jan : God's Lonely Men night
I fit the bill, so I went.
at National Portrait Gallery (awesome building and contents, by the way)
All the producers were there except for the last one (much the same for day 2).
The main male characters were introduced as 'some really twisted dudes'. I must concur. [music list --> play 'used to be alright']

the flix

The Constant Father- Abusive father dies. Son had avoided father as an adult. Son still has flashbacks. Son feels he's now turning into his father. Best part is last 10 seconds.
Foto- Unbelievable story of man who drops out of society for months only to find himself being photographed by someone doing immoral things like paedo and murder. He says they're not real, but then he kills, and then the next film roll is ready. What'd you say?
Team Sleep- Man in small Irish town moves into new house to find the church next door rings its massive bells from 6 am every day. His efforts to rid himself of the problem get him murdered. Church is presented as being a mafia, and yet the whole town is complicit. Is this an allegory on the negative role of the Church in Eire? Shot in Gaelic.
Boy- 40ish family man with boring gardening job befriended by local boy in Yorkshire. Old guy is gay wanker, literally; the boy, as it turns out, is not. Man cries.
Inseparable- or should I say inexplicable. Seems like a woman marries one of two identical twins, the other being a drunk. Seems like the paternity results show the drunk is the father, so, the twins trade clothes and places. Say what?
Madrugada (dawn)- Son kicked out of army, goes to help his knock-down-drunk father run his hotel, with sheep for tenants, which has apparently been claimed by the council.
[music list --> play 'hotel yorba']


day 2
Saturday 17 Jan Femmes Fantastiques
at the Institute of Contemporary Art on the Mall
in the shadow of the latest Gaza protest
I missed one film, but here goes anyway:

the chix

The Escort - Good story of a government minder of children in trouble. Single mom tries to help young prostitute who, in turn, sets her up for a robbery. The mother's work role means that she gives too much time and concern to other kids, making her daughter jealous. All is patched up at the end. Note: Lead females both got awards tonight, deservedly.
Lillie- An old lady, whose only excitement is a visit from a care worker, daydreams about the post-war party where she met her (now) deceased husband, as she plays an old 78 rpm disc. Interesting to see a depiction of a senior woman who has a vibrant inner life and passion, which in her time meant the desire to dance with a bloke, and to get married.
[music list --> play 'somebody to love']
Look what you've done to my heart- Another secretive film. It seems like a young woman leaves her partner at home and goes out searching for somebody to impregnate her. I suppose her man cannot do that and they want a kid. I could be completely wrong about this.
Model artist- the producer plays artist and model in this panto which has a burlesque segment and a electro-pop segment. She's a fine-looking woman, flashing a bit of buttock. Film is otherwise kind of abstract, but cute.
[music list --> 'squeeze box']
We call her daisy- A young pregnant woman is followed as her boring day unfolds. She only has one aunt who talks to her and yearns for communication. Turns out she's pregnant by a young goof who frequents her store. One night she has a miscarriage and yet she can't part with the body for a few days. It actually pulled back from being overly shlocky and ended up being moving as a picture of a miserable modern lonely life, but her dealing with the body was seriously creepy. I had to pull back from the illusion.
Ruby- Modern Red-riding Hood tale with bad guy dressed as Granny. A good chuckle. You had a sense that the granny was grooming her tough granddaughter for the struggles of life. A timely swipe is also taken at the banks.

Postscript

Not much fat in these films, but many don't develop the story enough for there to be the big 'a-ha' moment, so they're confusing. I'm not a fan of that school. Some good production values and they're done by whole teams. There were over 1000 entries to choose from, so you'll need more than a camera, Young Speilberg.

checkitout: http://www.shortfilms.org.uk/

sex and drug education thru film "I wanna be a ho"

Prepare yourselves for the new tool in sex ed and drug awareness. Sarcasm, irony and blunt reality.
Coming to damaged video installations in dank classrooms around the world, a cautionary tale about selling your tail: "I wanna be a ho". This stuff is copyright,ok?

Plot and characters

Pseudo-documentary in a Big Brother style. All the characters were students at
Watajok High School, Eastside Parkway. There will be various competitions for the young contestants, group chats and various challenges until the queen and king ho are crowned.

Character 1:
[music list --> play 'stupid girls']

Hi. My name is Gemma. I'm kinda low in self-esteem. That's what the teacher always told me. Last year, I wanted to change that so, I started dressing like a 'corner hostess' in the hopes of getting some attention. I got more than I could handle. The school football team said I'm the best.
[music list --> play 'she's on it']

Character 2:

Hey. I'm Sindy with an 's'. Had a family somewhere in the house, but we didn't talk. I have my shit together and I'm looking for a good time. I think that pot and hash expand your mind, but I left that baby stuff a while back. It's hard getting a supply when your young, so get the good stuff.
[music list --> play 'sinnamon girl']

Character 3:

This is Master Butts. "He has great communication skills and is a very able manager of people." (from http://www.masterofbutts.com/)

MB: Hi. I'm the master. Welcome to my emporium. Girls on the left, drugs on the right. Break something and you buy it. Hahaha!

[music list --> play 'promised you a miracle']

Gemma says: He makes me feel wanted. He showed me a good time, took me around town to the best restaurants. Before I knew it I was meeting some very rich strangers in secret places. Master Butts told me that I was going to be a secret agent, so I couldn't tell anyone about my work.
Sindy says: Master Butts took me to all the right parties. I got so buuuuzzed, man. He keeps me supplied, but I'm not a junky. I make money. I look after Butts' horned up friends. Some of them really need to bathe more, though.

Character 4: Tara.

I'm a cheerleader. The football team says I'm the best. I really enjoyed my time in high school. In fact, until I met the Master, I didn't know how I could continue to get smiles out of men. That is, now that I'm no longer doing backflips in skimpy skirts and giving them a free show of my pooter.

Character 5: Jake.
I'm really unsure of a man's role in society so I've turned into a kind of charicature of the strong points of men. I'm agressive, I do lots of weights. I like to let women know that I'm in charge. I can take a hint, and go for it as much as possible.


Character 6 Alicia. I was a good student and got good marks. I really enjoy getting the most out of life. My parents are nudists and I tried to be okay with that, but I got the recurring image of my dad's hairy bean bag in my mind. It actually disgusts me, and it brought on a kind of facial tick. So, to combat this, I have had to become rather open to the sensuality available in casual sexual contact.

Character 7:
Jolleen. I'm a Goth. When I'm finished playing my role, posing in public, I like nothing better than to put on leather and go to the S&M grotto. That's where I got the idea to do this for a living.

Character 8: Richard. Life in high school was so tragic. Most of my friends are girls. Boys are so crude. I've been doing a transvestite show, and when I walk outside with my satin dress on, I usually get propositioned.

Character 9: Aneka. I'm an anarchist organiser. You know that politically-active girls are more than just active in politics. I'm tough and I speak my mind. I think most guys are scared of me, but I just grab one I like, jump him and then ask questions.

Scene 1:

Postscript:
If this doesn't help kids from impregnating each other, then maybe pics of old fat people going to town might.

He's the topps who tops himself

I was reading an obit of Hayden Carruth, the poet, and part of it read:
"He survived two suicide attempts," and I my first thought was "no thanks to himself."
feeling low? small?
CHECK OUT THESE SHORT BLURBS ON SUICIDE AND LIFE
1
Certainly, our modern tendency to focus on things rather than people often makes some feel alone. But, it's interesting how suicide is a disease of the middle and upper classes. So, the more stuff you have, the less people matter. One of those religions is always harping on about that.
The poor are too busy struggling to survive to allow themselves the luxury of questioning why they find themselves here. They may indeed face real threats to their lives and maybe that's good. Bring it on! [music list --> play 'kung foo']
2
An auto-immune disease of the psyche.
A Darwinian evolutionary flaw.
Everybody has to find the strength to continue, not just the suicidal.
It's a rare person who doesn't feel painful insecurity occasionally. It's a part of life; a big one for me.
[music list --> play 'under pressure']

3
Stupid people keep going.
Bush43 keeps going and he continues to cause the death of people, daily.
He has destroyed the world economy and feels nothing.
That's not fair.
[music list --> play 'joker's wild']



4
What's the hurry?
Where do think you're going?
I'm here to tell you that you can find the courage to continue when you realise that you actually have nowhere better to go.
You can find a REASON to continue some time after that.
In fact, I was well on my way to dying of stupidity, more than once, and yet I was saved.
Was it an angel? Was the cosmos on my wavelength?
[music list--> play 'salvation']
When times get tough, though, I let go a snorting laugh, and say to myself "so what? you've managed to cheat death so far, ya fluckin idiot." [music list --> play 'canadian idiot']
Have you cheated death? Even Winston Churchill said "it's a real buzz, man!" Try it.

5
Who do you think you're hurting?
YOU will feel no pain.
Your family might.
Make sure you're not choking on your own ego, because no heimlick will save you from that.
[music list--> play 'precious']

Pubs unmasked as square sanitoriums

[music list--> play Night of the Iguana]
Fox and Hounds

Coach and Horses

Cock and Chick

Why bother giving pubs such silly names. They are as unimaginative as the depressing places they are attached to. Dank dirty decor. You can't even see the outdoors once inside, otherwise you'd probably leave. Does that remind you of any other institution?


And now that smoking isn't allowed, they truly stink.... of piss, stale beer and eau de loser.
[music list --> play 'breathe']
In honour of the sandwich bar EAT, just name pubs for what they are:

Drink Too Much Please, Ya Freakin Loser

[music list --> play '03 get in or get out']

man smart woman complex

I'm coming, eh

I have arrived. Welcome to me. Get prepared for a loud display of ideas. No more compromising. This site will break all the rules.