man created from woman

An old scroll was found in a cave on the north shore of Crete (St. Nick's), where even Dan Brown couldn't find it. It was an early proof copy of the Bible, circa 100AD.

In it was a version of Genesis which was different from the one we no longer learn in school. It questions the belief that true Christians hold dear; that Eve was created from Adam's rib. And it goes like this:

On the third day, God created woman in the image of something
that He would have liked to fondle,
were He human.
And so, He made Eve
with a body largely hairless and yet full of curves.
"Cursed are those who marry as they will become hairy indeed,"
God ordered.
And it was so.

Three of those curves belonged to the woman's three breasts.
After looking at her for a day, God thought that intelligent design
forced Him to get rid of one of those breasts,
on that fourth day,
as only two were necessary and manageable by Playtex.
God thought for another day about what to do
with that useless piece of human blubber.
Thus it was that, on the fifth day, man was created;
it was Adam and he said 'hiya' to Eve.
He admired Eden's nature and particularly her rosebud,

and whence it was that the big snake became apparent.

Whereupon Adam checked behind his fig leaf and said
"well, this oughta be useful."
Then, an invitation was profferred unto Eve:
"Come here, you!"
to which Eve obeyed
because she preferred that a man make the first move.
Thence they started their path out of Eden
and on to the highway to Hell (AC/DC).

Adapted wildly from "A Prairie Home Companion"- copyright
royalty-free pics from fotosearch.com,