the great unwashed auctioneers and their pants

Firstly, "pants" means underpants in the UK.
Why? not enough words for underpants, I guess.
It's enough of a euphemism for them to use
it as a derogatory noun for things they hate,
 and snicker away for hours. e.g.
"This auction is pants!" A pants auction that is itself pants.

[can I just touch it?]
[a see a skidmark! Literally the King's skidmark]

Anyway, getting a wedgie is an insult,
not only because others are mishandling
your shorts (euph) but that others
are viewing them, in public. Being pantsed.
Oh, the ignominy.

[Uhhhhhm, perhaps mores have changed since I was in grade school]

Now, dead famous folks' families have to
endure the grave-robbing underwear snatchers,
because there's money in those ass girdlers.
and there was an auction minimum that had to be cleared,
I guess, so that the pants thieves could keep
their public image.... as spotless as their
products. i.e. soiled underpants of Elvis

You know you're a god when...

I've heard of this for Maria Callas, whose
family moved too quickly for the ass market.
Princess Diana's should have moved faster, but they're
effete minor royals.

To Pantsland, the Graceland of the Pants

chuckle away: Guardian
Elvis Presley's bible sells for £59,000
However, a pair of Presley's soiled underpants worn underneath his famous white jumpsuit, failed to meet its £7000 reserve price
Cass Jones
guardian.co.uk, Saturday 8 September 2012 22.31 BST
A bible used by Elvis Presley has sold at auction for £59,000.
The holy book, given to the singer on his first Christmas in Graceland in 1957, was expected to fetch around £25,000 but went for more than double its value.
But a pair of Presley's unwashed and soiled underpants, worn underneath his famous white jumpsuit during a 1977 concert performance, went unsold.
Elvis Presley's soiled underpants A pair of briefs belonging to Elvis Presley, unwashed and still soiled, went unsold after failing to meet their reserve price.


watch as Eddie Murphy uses pants to slay a white god,
who, I guess, did look like he needed a weight-loss
session in the bog. I'm sure Eddie had visions of
greatness too, as a young comic. He's had his ups
and downs, but I think the police record for
requesting the services, in his car, of a tranny
hooker will be his "fart moment" and written on
his grave stone. It's a whoring business, that
movie business.