Iniesta as a force for good

Only Iniesta can save Spain from a
Franco-stein future of poverta and miseria.

Update: Mylie Cyrus slowly morphing into Justin Bieber

It was I who saw through all the crotch rubbing and
said that Mylie is becoming Justin. Now, here's a
photo which others have said shows Mylie doing
a Justin pose. I cannot comment, as I do not know
of any such pictures. The proof:

Imagine the retail possibilities

update: Scarlett is on the Zed Team

[Superchick: Hey, there's some Palestinian children with rocks]

No, it's not a new action movie
based on a graphic novel. It's not
a goofy comedy, with cleavage.
It's the scariest, most powerful political team
on the planet, that threatens to bring us

to the brink of WW3.

Oh, what a con job.
We all have fallen for the cute girl who can't act.
Except, some think she can:
"Allen has gone on record about Johansson's abilities as an actress:
how she is "sexually overwhelming"; how she has a "zaftig humidity";
and how he believed that she has the "acting ability to be not just a
passing pinup girl but a genuinely meaningful actress"."
But, what does that neurotic wimp know about sex or sexy?
He rolled his own. That's probably affected his judgement on SJ's acting.
In Woody's "Point Whatever" movie, she was horrible.
Anyway, when it comes to acting, she knows how to place her butt.

If you remember, I wrote about the Palestine Blues,
a few stories ago. I was wondering about why
Scarlett Johansen signed up to represent Soda Stream.

Well, now I have the answer. Essentially, she has
some relativist arguments for the employment
the factory provides and then she gets a bit
evasive on details.

When an interviewer mentions that she lost her
post as ambassador for Oxfam, she let's the
bomb drop. She criticises Oxfam for participating
in a BDS campaign against Israel. So, she's upset
that Oxfam is into Boycott Divestment and
Sanctions against the homeland of her mother.

Now, everything makes sense. No discussion
of the righteousness of BDS, the near concensus
in the UK for BDS, or the mess she's got herself
into. It's an issue of blood, and by extension, politics.
The interviewer didn't catch that angle. She's British.
End of story. End of a lot of things.
End of the connection between

SJ's body
[the 2-dimensional image, that is]
& my phallus.

Story and letter clips, below:

checkit: The Observer
Scarlett Johansson interview: 'I would way rather not have middle ground'
The star talks to Carole Cadwalladr about playing an alien in Under the Skin – Jonathan Glazer's low-budget sci-fi film set in Glasgow – and her role in the recent SodaStream controversy

Carole Cadwalladr
Sunday 16 March 2014
...
She's flustered, and since I've been given the wind-up signal by the publicist, I move on to an even more difficult subject. SodaStream. When I Google "Scarlett Johansson" the fizzy-drinks maker is the third predictive search suggestion in the list, after "Scarlett Johansson hot" – before even "Scarlett Johansson bum". A month ago, Johansson found herself caught up in a raging news story when it emerged Oxfam had written to her regarding her decision to become a brand ambassador for SodaStream. The company, it transpired, manufactures its products in a factory in a settlement on the West Bank, and while "Oxfam respects the independence of our ambassadors," it wrote, it also "believes that businesses that operate in settlements further the ongoing poverty and denial of rights of the Palestinian communities that we work to support".

Johansson responded by stepping down from her Oxfam role. From afar, it looked liked she'd received very poor advice; that someone who is paid good money to protect her interests hadn't done the necessary research before she'd accepted the role and that she'd unwittingly inserted herself into the world's most intractable geopolitical conflict. By the time Oxfam raised the issue, she was going to get flak if she did step down, flak if she didn't. Was the whole thing just a bit of a mistake?
But she shakes her head. "No, I stand behind that decision. I was aware of that particular factory before I signed it." Really? "Yes, and… it still doesn't seem like a problem. Until someone has a solution to the closing of that factory to leaving all those people destitute, that doesn't seem like the solution to the problem."

But the international community says that the settlements are illegal and shouldn't be there. "I think that's something that's very easily debatable. In that case, I was literally plunged into a conversation that's way grander and larger than this one particular issue. And there's no right side or wrong side leaning on this issue."

Except, there's a lot of unanimity, actually, I say, about the settlements on the West Bank. "I think in the UK there is," she says. "That's one thing I've realised… I'm coming into this as someone who sees that factory as a model for some sort of movement forward in a seemingly impossible situation."

Well, not just the UK. There's also the small matter of the UN security council, the UN general assembly, the International Committee of the Red Cross, the International Court of Justice… which all agree that they're in contravention of international law. Half of me admires Johansson for sticking to her guns – her mother is Jewish and she obviously has strong opinions about Israel and its policies. Half of me thinks she's hopelessly naive. Or, most likely, poorly advised. Of all the conflicts in all the world to plant yourself in the middle of…

"When I say a mistake," I say, "I mean partly because people saw you making a choice between Oxfam – a charity that is out to alleviate global poverty – and accepting a lot of money to advertise a product for a commercial company. For a lot of people, that's like making a choice between charity – good – and lots of money – greed."

"Sure I think that's the way you can look at it. But I also think for a non-governmental organisation to be supporting something that's supporting a political cause… there's something that feels not right about that to me. There's plenty of evidence that Oxfam does support and has funded a BDS [boycott, divest, sanctions] movement in the past. It's something that can't really be denied." When I contacted Oxfam, it denied this.
....LETTERS
legaff

16 March 2014 9:15am
Recommended 243
Americans are rather scary when it comes to Israel.
It's like they really couldn't give a f*ck about Palestinians.

EnglishroG

16 March 2014 9:26am
Recommended 272
A very interesting interview.
I too, made excuses for her when the whole SodaStream controversy arose. But it seems that far from being extremely poorly advised, she's actually an ardent Zionist.
Which, sadly, means I'll never see another film of hers again.
[I gotta agree with this person, but with my phallus- Cos67]

This "band" only gets better with age

A particular band of performance artists known as
Pussy Riot have stoked my humour gland but not
my boner.
They're so funny, in general how they ape rap
artists, and do stupid sh*t to get attention.
How's that Cossack whip there, gals. The fans
from their latest show in Sochi.

Anyway, not every anchorperson on tv can
say the word PUSSY without clearing their
throat a few times. So, Boing boing has
provided some alternatives that I must say
are not much more PC. Anyway. I'll
add my own soon. Enjoy the pussy:

checkit:

25 Synonyms for 'Pussy Riot,' for news presenters who'd really rather not to say 'pussy' on-air

Xeni Jardin at 7:43 am Sat, Feb 22, 2014

The outlaw Russian activist organization Pussy Riot reportedly chose their name as a clever troll: one of the group's members said she thought it'd be a way to provide a little fun for English-speakers who followed their story. And she was right. Every time I see CNN's Wolf Blitzer say "Pussy Riot," or hear a dry NPR anchor's voice intone those two words, I think I'm going to die laughing. Pussy Riot finally managed to do what generations of feminists before them could not: they normalized the word "pussy."

But I asked Twitter to help me come up with some more "polite" synonyms for news anchors who still wince when they have to say the p-word on-air. Here's the list, some of which are my own, some of which others must take blame for.

• Vagina Riot

• Cuntastrophe

• Cooter Commotion

• Ladybits Rampage

• Vajayjay Melee

• Birth Canal Brouhaha

• Hoo-hah Kerfuffle

• Beefdrape Diatribe

• Frontbottom Fracas

• Labial Lawlessness

• Rosebud Rumble

• Bearded Clam Shenanigans

• Muffin scufflin'

• Cooch Confrontation

• Down There Donnybrook

• Labia Fray-bia

• Front-butt Fiasco

• Munch Bunch

• Apocalips

• Violencia del Vulva

• Meat-Curtain Mayhem

• Nookie Disagreement

• Honeypot havoc

• Fanny Free-for-all

• Tumult Near Mons Pubis (*also a great title for a post-apocalypic sci-fi erotic novel)

glug glug fizz fizz look how fat my ass is

I know that getting a health story straight is difficult.

It seems that every day, some new thing will kill you
and the next day, it's the great health wonderstuff.

Of course, you need to have time to see which
scientists are paid off by the big corps and which
are getting their rat quotas cut back.

However, a particularly interesting line of research
has to do with the effect of high fructose corn syrup
on health. It is now in all sorts of processed food.

The most obvious one is soft/fizzy/pop drinks.

One study (I'll try to find it) showed how these
drinks seem to numb your taste buds and give
you a hankering for more drinks and more
fatty, sugary, salty, sh*tty food.
I know that obesity is not caused by drinks only, but
it has now become an epidemic in the US, which
probably has the highest consumption of fizzers.

Sorry: corrected by Coke. US is #2, for colas
[countries with over 100 servings per year, per capita]
France: 149
Japan: 179
Germany: 190
Great Britain: 210
Brazil: 230
South Africa: 247
Canada: 259
United States: 403
Mexico: 728

or, by nationmaster


Food Statistics > Soft drink consumption (most recent) by country
DEFINITION: Consumption of carbonated soft drinks.
Litres per person per year, 2002.


Rank Countries Amount
# 1 United States: 216 litres
# 2 Ireland: 126 litres
= 3 Norway: 119.8 litres
= 3 Canada: 119.8 litres
# 5 Belgium: 102.9 litres
# 6 Australia: 100.1 litres
[which makes the US far and away the biggest consumer]
or QZ:
Mexico has approved both a soda tax and a junk food tax, which it expects to generate some $16 billion annually. But there’s a deeper reason why the taxes, like large swaths of the Mexican populace, are so hefty: Something has to be done about Mexico’s eating habits.
Some 33% of Mexicans are obese and 71% are either obese or overweight, according to the country’s latest national health survey. According to 2008 data from the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (pdf, pp. 73-79), Mexico at that point had the highest rate of obesity among large countries (though a number of small island states have far higher rates). Since then, though, the US obesity rate has overtaken Mexico’s, at 35.7%.
[Mexico and US competing in the Fat-limpics, or Fat & limping-ics]
[what do soda and junk food both have? HFCS]

so, let's look at the obesity stats from 1987 to today.
You could look for yourself, and I'll just put the
first and last years. But if you go to:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-official-us-obesity-rates-timeline
you can see the scariest timeline as you scroll down the page.
This is from the Centre for Disease Control, peeps.

Take the pics and look at the symbols for the colours.
If you did this in stats class, you can see that every state
has had ballooning numbers of ballooning people. Now ,
as you can see, Middle Southern America has got the
biggest bulge and some of them will be ready for another
colour 40%+ obesity rate. And this is a country with
50 million having no health care coverage.


Abby talks to a guy who spells it out.
Switzerland taxes sugar and subsidises fruit and veg.
US has highest economic freedom, fast food consumption and obesity.
They're related peeps.

sources
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/foo_sof_dri_con-food-soft-drink-consumption
http://qz.com/142544/the-worlds-fattest-major-country-consumes-an-astounding-amount-of-coca-cola-products/

I put the words into Sir David's documentary

I am amazed to see that reality follows fiction
once again. It has to do with a joke entry
where I had Sir David Attenborough
doing a documentary on human activity.
And now, he copied my idea, in almost
the exact same words.
So, for the uninitiated, Attenborough is
a famous animal documentary guy whose
voiceovers and speaking style are famous,
hence my joke doc, below. I must say
that curling is funnier.

So, last month, I wrote:
http://posturenbluster.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/wild-men-resort-to-playing-sports.html

and more specifically:

What's this? The ultimate in insults. She is offering her
buttocks in order for them to be kissed by the
opposition. As David Attenborough would say
"watch the defiant look on the face of the female
exposing her genitals, in a sign of superiority"

Now, the story, video and transcript from Huffington Post:

"Attenborough’s iconic voice gently guides viewers through a
face-off  between the United States and Great Britain. At the
beginning of the video (above), he says, “Watch as the alpha 
female displays her dominance over the herd by tapping 
the end of the frisking broom to check for rogue insects.”"




checkit: The Huffington Post

Sir David Attenborough Narrates Women's Olympic Curling Event, And It Is Pure Gold
| by Emily Thomas
Sir David Attenborough, a legend in nature documentary narration, was recently asked by BBC Radio 1 to narrate a women’s curling event from the Winter Games.

Suffice it to say we’re very grateful he obliged.

Attenborough’s iconic voice gently guides viewers through a face-off between the United States and Great Britain. At the beginning of the video (above), he says, “Watch as the alpha female displays her dominance over the herd by tapping the end of the frisking broom to check for rogue insects.”

As Great Britain's Anna Sloane casts her team’s stone across the ice, Attenborough explains her movements in his signature soothing tone: “Off she goes, gently, but flamboyantly launching the oversized walnut down the frozen river.”

But that's not all.

After Sloane's teammates take over control of the stone’s path by sweeping the ice ahead of it to land in the "nest" he notes, "The frisking is frantic and often futile, making no difference to the success of the net thrust, but it is playful, all part of what makes this game the sliding curlers play so magical."

Attenborough, you’re magical.

Canada will face off against Sweden in the women’s curling finals on Thursday, Feb. 20.

Look. It's a snowflake, a gay wink. no. It's a copyright violation

coming soon

those cunning Russians have found a way to
subvert the Olympic copyright mafia once and for all.

This mafia [stories later] runs around host
cities tearing down anything smacking of

Olympic spirit. 

Olympic Kebab Shack

is obviously trying to steal the thunder of

the doped sporting cartel. Bad Chef. Bad!

Also, it's become a gay theme as well. Russia's 

anti- gay-propagation laws meant that the fifth

wheel was not taken for a snowflake, but an anus.

Of course, it's a good joke, but don't say it too loudly

because it'll look like the gay backlash is

all about ass.

How's that for a jingle. 

The Olympics! All about ass
Those cunning Russians.
Wait a minute!

[BTW growing up, I always thought that Human League were gay.
the voices, the synths, the make-up. Now that I'm in the UK,
I'm not so sure. Does that make sense?]

And I used to think that organised sports were about

about crypto-fascist land acquisition games, as training

for warfare. Actually, it's the athletic version of 

"breasts & circumcisions"

that is so popular with the younger British royalty. 

It's all about that other big human urge. Sex.
The Bugler said that if it wasn't for some oiled up naked
Greeks then the Olympics would never have happened.
https://soundcloud.com/the-bugle/bugle-259-sochi-special

Let's look for evidence today:

Beach volleyball

 Is this what you're looking for?

Gymnastics

 sometimes about ass

 other times about fanny.

But they should stop using underage girls in this way. Sick

So, this is why my high school gym teacher refused to teach
olympic greco-roman wrestling. He said something about
dry humping, and went away red-faced.

Party on, Thomas Bach.

party on, Sochi  

Of course, there were thousands of condoms handed out to athletes again.
That's only because the Pill and Viagra set off the drug test.

 
UPDATE: Juice Rap News wades into the Sochi-sex debate:

Chew-ba-kar strikes back

If you have a dog with teething problems, why not give

the poor quadruped a car to chew on?




How was the Doggie daddy to know that his car

was edible? He paid £80 K for an Aston Martin

to show how cool he is, and now he's got even

more cooling, from nature.

His car's missing a front bumper.



How is it the rich guys are always ahead of the

curve with new car ideas? While we shiver,

upright, jammed up against the steering wheel,

pumping our feet to change gears, they

sit back and use paddles.



Their cars can park for them, or show them

the way with cameras so they don't have to

turn their lordly heads. We gotta risk pinched

nerves on a daily basis.

Aston La Vista , baby [yahoo news]

 The dog's name is Chew-baka. Doggy daddy also bites
 [yahoo news]

No means "no society" or culture for that matter

I know that the rich people who run the media
are always telling us to

"shut up and learn to love slavery"

What I don't get is that after dismantling 

society, as Thatcher ordered, because there is

no society, except the one that was destroyed

after the orders were given. But, since
nobody complained, the destruction continued
until everybody took it for granted. There's no
society. What does that mean?

I suppose it means that workers are supposed to suffer,

not rich folks, cuz they can own/foster culture.,

with their own money, right?

Shell funds the arts, for now.

BP funds the arts, for now.

So, when clowns dressed as journalists 

opine that actually society should look 

after art, then I get incandescent.

They mean public $$£.

Not for poor people, not the homeless, 

not public healthcare, not schools,

the f^**(king art.

squiggles on canvas. Or more recently

whole rooms full of reclaimed sh*t 

from the garbage dump.

So, the government is supposed to protect

this art, so that we can LOOOOOK at it.

You know what?

Get the F^&*king JPEG and wank off to it!

"oooooh, Matisse. Your bitches are fiiiiine"

checkit: Daily Telegraph

Oliver Wright

Monday 18 November 2013

It has been described as Britain’s “cultural safety net” – a means to save some of the country’s most precious works of art from being sold abroad and disappearing from public view.

But now a former minister is warning that the 60-year-old system for protecting the UK’s cultural heritage is beginning to fail because of a lack of government and philanthropic support.

In the last two years, less than a third of the antiques, paintings and manuscripts that the Reviewing Committee on the Export of Works of Art and Objects of Cultural Interest recommended should be “saved for the nation” actually remained in Britain.

Instead works, including Picasso’s Child with a Dove, which had been on display at the National Gallery since 1974, have been lost to collectors abroad because the funds could not be found to keep them in the country.

Under the current system, the committee can ask ministers to delay export licences to allow British museums and collections time to raise the funds to buy the works.

But despite issuing 20 export delay orders since 2012, the money has only been raised to allow six pieces to remain in the country.

Nine of the works have already left Britain after export licence delays were lifted while six are still waiting to see if funds can be found to buy them. These include a Rembrandt. 

Justin Bieber is Miley Cyrus

At one point, Miley might have been her own
person but it seems that she has melded with
Justin Bieber.
i guess that means that Miley uses Autotune as well.

belieb-it