How to kiss royal ass, like royally

It's not enough that she's been give a job as a
"journalist" by THE conservative newspaper
in the UK, but she's allowed to write giddy
foolish stories trying to implicate herself
into the life of the royals in such a
sycophantic way as to make folks wretch.

Here's her magnum opus, with my comments:

Check this: Telegraph

Ski holidays from hell
by Bryony Gordon

Like a grown man who still dreams of playing
for England, I harbour fantasies that I might
one day enter royal circles. The latest involves
me bumping into the Duchess of Cambridge
at an NCT meeting and bonding over our
shared need for a baby-changing table, though
over the years my fantasies have had
several incarnations: becoming party pals with
Harry; being summoned to the Palace by the
Queen, who would then make me a Dame for
services to cigarettes; being chosen by Lady
Di to be her lady-in-waiting (I was six).

[six years old- that's about the age level of the 
writing- Cos67 ]