let's discuss the pros and cons of the Sex Box
program.
I'm guessing they're into post-hump tv because
their performance whilst humping is less than
spectacular:
1 If you want to go on tv after sex, what's wrong with you?
Most folks can barely manage a cigarette before nodding off.
I wonder what will be going through the guests' minds. After
the Petit Mort comes truth, happiness and bonding, OR an
interview that millions will see, for time immemorial.
[great movie mistake- he didn't wash his hands]
That would blow my mind if I had to imagine that and look at
a camera. So, I'd probably lie. It'll be harder to lie, but I
would, just for history's sake.
They're so neurotic, as a nation, that they probably
don't know what the truth is, anyway.
2 Is the UK sick for wanting a gander over the sex fence?
What does it matter what others are doing in their quarters,
unless you're totally neurotic about your sexuality and
your performance?You're really curious? I think it's
called the Wanker's Paradox.
3 Is Sex in a Box like sperm donation or exhibitionism?
Are they going to draw exhibitionist weirdos like Big
Brother does because of the chance that some will
seek to tell the world "Oi! I bagged a bird!" I think
they're going to get idiots, and/or liars (see above).
4 Brits do giggle about body parts
How do these people stifle their giggles long enough
to get laid. I think "not very often or well" is the only
answer that comes to mind. They laugh about the
word "fanny" and how Americans think it's a word
for buttocks. But then they use words like "bollocks"
and call each other "bell end" and "cunt". Weird
bunch.
5 Freud is good for quotes, but that's it
In our day, he would have had a talk show, and not
even tried psychology. His ideas ring true, but
they're so full of sh*t.
6 Sex ed should not be shocking
This is the fate of anglophone parents the world over.
They have inbred in them a reticence or hypocrisy
about sex that translates into wanting to protect
their kids from it, as if it were a gun. Guns are
often more accepted because they don't make
parents feel all queasy around their kids. This is
why the disease rate and teenage birth rates are
often highest (in the developed world) in
anglo countries. I learned more from porn than
anything else back in the day when you had to
buy it, which can create a whole bunch of other
hangups. But, some kids trip over it, and get
shocked.
Anglos should do what the Dutch do and just
make it an early, matter of fact lesson in school,
or even better, if they see love and closeness
in the home, then they won't be shocked by or
even very intrigued by the most natural
sex act. That doesn't mean they're going to run out
and try it, as if it were a new bicycle. It's just
a lack of hangups. There's a reason why rape/murder
stories are so common/popular in anglo countries.
Repression.
checkit: The Observer
Sex Box: yes it's controversial; but it's also inspirational, warm and honest
Phillip Hodson, a panellist on Channel 4's new show, explains the aim of the series: not to titillate, but to tell the truth about our love lives
Phillip Hodson
Sunday 29 September 2013
Sex Box presenters
Phillip Hodson, Tracey Cox and Dan Savage dispense the advice, under the watchful eye of Mariella Frostrup.
Commentators have favoured two particular words when telling the world why Channel 4 commissioned the forthcoming programme Sex Box – the show where couples make love inside a private space, then talk through their feelings with a panel afterwards. Those words are "titillation" and "ratings". As a psychotherapist and Sex Box panellist who has supported the production from the outset, I'd like to explain why it was actually made.
There were three challenges: how to find and keep an audience for a serious discussion about British sex life; how to reclaim the sexual truth from the lies of pornography; and how to counter the cultural inhibitions that I know from my consulting room still cause much relationship misery.
Since there's little point in broadcasting to empty sofas, Channel 4 rightly chose an innovative format to gain an audience. But titillation is surely in the mind of the beholder? The sex in the box is private and discreet, to ensure that the subsequent discussion may be open and explicit. In normal life, people make love all over the place (even in green rooms) and carry their own equipment around for the purpose. Of course, the studio context is not usual. But just as pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson endlessly monitored people making love in the lab, so this programme aims to see whether couples in a postcoital glow are better able to recall, share and communicate their joy in sex than otherwise. The box was created to enable fresh honesty – and if you watch the programme on 7 October I think you might agree that it succeeds.
But even if you don't, the production creates the opposite of pornography, because you truly get to see no action at all. And while I'm very clear that most porn is a conspiracy of exaggeration and distortion for a quick buck, I do not believe we can get rid of it. And it does have one plus: you will never need to explain the physical mechanics of sex to anyone ever again. The makers of iPorn and YouPorn have comprehensively funded this entire level of sex education for us by pure accident.
As for the rest of our sexual knowledge, I still worry for Britain. Yes, in my lifetime we've seen the rise of the first generation of free women on the planet who need no male permission to bed, wed, bank or wank. But on the other hand we remain the cultural victims of a legacy of imperial inhibition and sexism. How else to explain the persistence of our Benny Hill-style giggling at sex, or that Carry On gasp at the glimpse of a nipple? I refuse to believe that any other country in the world would find it even faintly amusing to call a sitcom Bottom. And that's before we consider the corrupting impact of our disreputable love affair with Commander James Bond RN.
As a fictional construct, 007 naturally cannot speak for himself, but the franchise is now so huge that even an established novelist such as William Boyd has been persuaded to add his literary support to the genre. But what wisdom about sex does Bond's originator, Ian Fleming, put into the mouth of his senescent swordsman? While re-reading the novels earlier this summer I found this tell-all quote opening a paragraph: "Most women enjoy semi-rape." For the rest, Fleming makes Bond sound like a founder member of Ukip cataloguing his male insecurities on a range of subjects from too many women in the workplace to too many women driving fast cars. (What a shame Auric Goldfinger prematurely extinguished that laser beam!)
So I contend that there are strains and stains in the mainstream media that we should be rather more embarrassed about sexually than whether Channel 4 has pushed the boundaries too far with Sex Box. I also suggest that, in their rise to snap judgment, some critics have forgotten how rarely television explores and examines sexual norms. Extreme fetishes, yes – vanilla bed-styles, no. In fact, there's an entire missing conversation about what actually happens during the sex lives of the silent majority. And I further suggest that some of this information is invaluable.
These are some of the facts I mean. We all have a drive for sex that lasts most of a lifetime. Sex is not the most important thing in the world, except when it goes wrong. None of us is born knowing how to make love; we must be taught. Most of us eventually have sex within a formal relationship, but there's a conflict between intimacy and eroticism as well as a connection. Frequency of sex with a regular partner inevitably declines unless you do something about it. Much of the sex you have in life will be with yourself. Love is blind, so you can fall for anyone of any sex at any time. Desire for others is not extinguished by marriage or cohabitation. Pre-marital sex is no longer a moral issue (everyone does it), but extra-marital sex remains an unresolved area of British hypocrisy. (In surveys we condemn it; in practice we don't.) Normal sexual identity covers a menu of lifestyle permutations. According to Sigmund Freud, when two people make love there are at least four people present: the two doing it and the two they are thinking about (which is to say it's normal to fantasise). Great sex is rare – except in the movies. Good sex starts in the brain and requires you to imagine what it must be like to be in bed with you – and then ensure both parties have the best of possible times. When we feel empty inside, what we often need is love and sex, not burgers and chocolate. There's a direct link between eating too much and sexual frustration, as also between sexual frustration and ideological extremism....
