Friday, 6 February 2009

toke on this, bonehead!

Smoking is controversial, right? People harm themselves and we all have to pay the cost of it.
Following are some different perspectives and themes revolving around that old carcinogenic habit.

Chinese philosophy:
ying: "That's what we all need. Fill the hospitals with preventable illnesses."
yang: "Fluck it, I want my tax money to go towards saving my arse."

Smokes, if used correctly, will probably kill you. How do you do quality control on that? ISO 9000DS (for Deadly Sh*t).

Ostracising smokers from pubs and bars has decreased smoking.
[music list--> play Dead Man's Party]
But the natural-born rebels amongst us think of themselves as oh-so-cool and independent as they buck the trend.
"Look, I'm cool yet I got FIRE coming out of my pie-hole!"

anthropology 1:
Smoking looks like an ancient pagan ritual, but without the soul.


Anthropology 2:
The control of fire was a major evolutionary step for humanoids. When we thought we could control it by applying it to a cancer-stick, THAT's when we got burnt. We will move on from this stage, much as we did when we stopped looking at the fireplace as entertainment and replaced that by looking at tv. Ooh, another bad example.

The first European smokers were thought to be devil worshippers. Never have religious zealots been sooo correct.
Fires of hell, parts 1 & 2 []:

It's not what you're burning, it's what's burning YOU.

For those brave remaining smokers, here's an ad which will show how a corporation is playing smokers for idiots.
voiceover: these are your lungs:

voiceover: these are your lungs on cigarettes:

[background: music list--> play Breathe]
voiceover: Smoke inhalation, from house fires, can kill you by damaging your lungs. Why would you inhale smoke intentionally?

voiceover: These are tobacco company executives. your good money goes to them. watch them TESTIFY!

They might say "Smoking doesn't cause cancer." What they don't tell you is "Smokers cause cancer to themselves and others."
[background: music list--> play You are in my System]
voiceover: When they were researching cigarettes, it wasn't to find out if they cause cancer, it was to see if nicotine was addictive and how to increase the amount of nic in the mix. As if that wasn't enough, they've added a list of other man-made chemicals like yummy formaldehyde. Why?
Cuz they're experimenting on YOU, and you're paying for it, chump!
Ever feel like you're being manipulated? Ya! We know.


voiceover: Remember Montezuma's revenge? That's nothing compared to tobacco. Europeans nearly killed off the American aboriginals, but Tonto's boys got one back on whitey. Some Native Americans used the smoking of tobacco to celebrate peace treaties (you know, the ones that we broke all the time). As we do, we took the ritual out of it, and abused the weed to death, literally.
Brought to you by the same wizards who ground up the coca leaf into a powder and shoved it up your noses!


natural justice:
The government can make the tobacco dons testify in front of them, but nobody in the government cares when the dons lie.
"Smoking doesn't cause cancer" RIIIIIght!
"We don't spike cigarettes." SUUUUUre!
Pull the middle one. Why can't anybody actually prove them guilty of selling chemical sticks in the guise of cigarettes?
CORRUPTION is the answer, and that includes that of the Societies whose research we blindly fund.

public administration:
The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing (tax comes in to one hand, but even more goes out of the other as expenditure):
It doesn't matter that smoke addicts cost every country 10% of GDP.
Smokes and lobbyists are good for business.
Smoking businesses pay (off) the government in taxes and funding. So, they stay.
Besides, if people stop smoking, the government will go into withdrawl; cash withdrawl.
[Guardian newspaper]

All that we've got now to continue the fight for public health is the stupid messages on packs. A lot of good that does!

Most people can't read Spanish, but here are a few choice curses:
Hijos de puta!
Cabrones de mierda!
Companias de asesinos.
Palos de cancer.


chemical-based life philosophy:
Smokers got all the answers. There's a drug for every situation. Even if fags make their dicks droop, they would just get a prescription for Viagra. Smoking protects! Rumour has it that, in Athens, smoking is considered to be an inoculation against the smog.
[Guardian newspaper]

the human condition:
Is there an antidote for early death? for the ultimate death wish? hmmm.
AND THE STINK? YA, you stink and you can't smell it yourself, otherwise you wouldn't be able to stand yourself.

anthropology 3:
When it all comes down to it, let's follow a Darwinist maxim: Idiots will die at their own hands. Just don't breed!
[Note: most pics here royalty-free from]