Wednesday, 22 April 2009

the truth shall set thee free...from war-mongering and -profiteering

YOU can do this, even if you're not religious at all.

Here's what you do:

Walk into a church,

or just hold your hands up, look to the sky, and ask:

"haven't Bush43 and Cheney sinned against humanity?
What are You gonna do about it?"

I know that no court on this planet will convict them;

not the Hague, nor Geneva, nor Podunk.
So the best we can hope for is:
A parting boot to the head, from on High.

Now, let's hope for a better future.
What do you SAY?

-Cos67 8^P

you need proof on Bu, Chu and the ScruYuCru? see

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

the truth shall set you free... from the spectre of zit-heads copulating

I have to say that, for once in life, the simple truth can be beneficial.
The audience here is teenagers and the topic is sex. If you've seen my bizarre faux-reality text from a few months ago, you know that sex ed has been doing nothing but promoting sex, either because teachers are afraid to talk frankly, or because the materials they're using are crap
I'm not against sex, but you have to have a brain as well and most teens don't. They don't worry about consequences especially when the act is about to happen.

Groin cancels brain every time.

So 'sex ed' has to take the mystery and glamour out of those three letters in the title. And if kids still wanna play hide-the-sausage, grown-up style, then so be it. At least they'll be less likely to have the stupid consequences, like the birth of another hoodie.

Channel four is putting on the Sex Education show all this week. Today's show was very good.
It showed the physical changes of pregnancy which were seriously grossifying. Message delivered.

The host of the show got made up like a porn star to see what reaction she'd get. Although she would have got more sex, she'd also have got a heap more abuse as well. In my opinion, to advertise yourself like a hooker only leads to one thing. I'm an old man, but sexual attraction is much more complex for real people. If the porn star isn't offering, nobody's paying any attention. Nobody wants to know her.

Actually, this one above's not so bad. The bird on the tv looked more like

Joan Collins;

faaeecchhh. Pooey.

That oughtta limit the number of 10 and 11 year-olds messing with the old paint-roller make-up routine.

Message delivered?


The class on the show got a lesson in condom-wearing etiquette. That should get them over their skittishness with that aid. Message sent. However, they didn't go into the details about the rubbers that pleasure the wearer as much as the owner of the receiving end, so to speak.

I especially like the re-usable ones. wash in cold water, then just drip dry.

The show talked about the emotional depth of some of the married famous couples that kids seem to idolise, like Beyonce and that ugly lad JayZ. They showed how they are emotionally linked and it's not just about looks or clothing, or money. It just looks like stars're all about looks and money, because artists are peddling their souls to make money and they've got gazzillions. Message delivered? If you want hot sex, join those folks. Even if it's bad, everybody will think you're in heaven.

The best part was the matter-of-fact chat with the young porn stud and his porn-ho girlfriend.
He's done a lot to earn his crust. Once, he corn-holed an old wrinkled hag, who hadn't done an enema and he got a rotten-old-charcoal-turd stuck to his rubber. OMFG. I'da puked!

He has to shave his block and tackle each time. Imagine nicking your pole with a razor. Owwwch!

The best one was the fact that, because he was slim, that he could pass for gay, even though he wasn't (ya, whatever). But, in order to bring home the bacon, he had to get into a discussion with a 'comely' lad, about who was going to be the man and who the woman. You give as you get. LOL.

His gal, or the I'm-happy-to-do-an-enema lady, was the butt of a ten-guy anal party. She showed her bravery by saying that it only put her "out of action for two days." No pornos for two days. I thought she was going to say incontinence, diapers and no solid FOOD for two days.

Since young kids check out porn off the web (just like everyone else), at least the aura of coolness will have disappear.

Feces, fags and french-tickling wrinkled hags.
Much cool-nessss. Not. Much rudeness.
I hope the result is that the zit-crew won't put so much pressure on each other and themselves about popping the cherry. Because, if you get to my age, sex isn't all that hot and it wasn't when I was young either. It was quick though. Well, some of it was semi-lukewarm... but we tell stories and they're mostly bullshit.

My sex ed was pretty funny, actually. We were separated from the girls for this and we just had a great time taking the piss out of the material. We saw the diseased peckers and stuff. But the funny slides were:

[Photo of man in raincoat]
voiceover: What is happening to THIS man?
We thought he was playing pocket pool, or that he was a pedophile hiding a kid in there. That gets big laughs when you're 13, especially since old buggers in those days wore a lot of baggy, sweaty polyester.
BZZT. WRONG. He was getting a surprise boner. (Probably from the pocket pool, I sez)

The next one:
[photo of guy under the covers]
voiceover: What is happening to THIS young man?

No tent was obvious in the covers and there was no porno mag and flashlight, so he wasn't wanking. So, we had no idea.
BZZT. WRONG. He was soiling his shorts during a wet dream [I suppose, all the while imagining he's boning Monicca Belucci or Giselle or some other fit specimen.]

Having that as a dream sequence would have made it funny, and we would have all nodded, "been there, done that, got the t-shirt." Uh-huh.

In the end though, all that educatin' didn't dissuade me from my escapades one bit. I never used a condom as a free man. never! And this was during the time when the free-loving hippies cursed us with deadly AIDS, just to piss us off even more. I used to joke that I have no kids.... that I know of. It's so surprising that nothing bad happened to me. Others aren't so lucky though.

Having lived in the UK on and off for 10 years, I find it easy to believe that sixty percent of British women use a dildo (as the show said).

When you look at the options they have (not to mention the options on the dildoes), you girls would probably do the same here. Most lads here are either drunk, gay, hooligans or otherwise seriously troubled. It also goes a long way to explaining why birds here are usually in such a fowl mood. They find guys to be completely superfluous. Dildoes are too perfect a replacement for a guy. No off-nights, but on the other hand, they do need more maintenance than the average guy (batteries and so on).

Actually, the kids watching the show looked somewhat bored about the whole thing. That's good. Unfortunately, some of the kids will be so grossed out by the gnarly display that they may never procreate or even do the humpy-pumpy, EVER! Well, if that's the price that's gotta be paid...

-Cos67 ( 8^P

royalty-free photos from