Friday, 20 March 2009

human race survives by cavorting with apes

What's the next disease that will kill millions of people? Will we be able to survive in our massive urban sprawls with no clean air without getting cancer? Actually, I think we will. Crosspolination is the key.
Humans are not headed for extinction if us guys are willing to put or willies into other species. Let science take care of the rest.

If ape hiney is good enough for Charleton Heston, it's good enough for me.
'you Jane, me Charleton. let's do it.'

-Cos67 8^P

Thursday, 19 March 2009

is modern art a lecture in me-me-me?

This won't make modern art very different from the society it purports to be a part of.
Isn't art supposed to be part of the dialogic between the artist and the rest of society?
More later

Sunday, 8 March 2009

Labour party changes name

We all know that UK's Labour party is about as interested in labour (workers) as they are in boils on the gluteus maximus. The following though, may surprise you. They are now:

Business Bailout Bank plc
Mortgaging your future, for the good of business.
you work for them. you work to pay our debt. then you die.
you'll get food and clothing, don't worry.

Don't worry, be happy. We've just given out massive loans that have tripled the government's debt.
In much the same way that you've never recognised how indebted the government is, a tripling of debt doesn't matter either.
We don't ever pay these things off.
Loans and bonds just enrich banks and other lender countries (as the poor old boys don't have derivatives anymore).
You won't feel a thing. You won't even know why the markets go up and down, but our creditors will.
We'll print money, so that the currency becomes devalued. You'll lose your your vacation homes and your trips and then your vacations. The environment thanks you already.
Then, at some point, when the Chinese can no longer fund us, the whole system will collapse.
People say 'don't go there', but we will.
All we need now is a smiling, unsullied young face to sell this deal, not that ragged old bag Crash Gordon. The name Cam-something is coming to me.

man created from woman

An old scroll was found in a cave on the north shore of Crete (St. Nick's), where even Dan Brown couldn't find it. It was an early proof copy of the Bible, circa 100AD.

In it was a version of Genesis which was different from the one we no longer learn in school. It questions the belief that true Christians hold dear; that Eve was created from Adam's rib. And it goes like this:
On the third day, God created woman in the image of something
that He would have liked to fondle,
were He human.
And so, He made Eve
with a body largely hairless and yet full of curves.
"Cursed are those who marry as they will become hairy indeed,"
God ordered.
And it was so.

Three of those curves belonged to the woman's three breasts.
After looking at her for a day, God thought that intelligent design
forced Him to get rid of one of those breasts,
on that fourth day,
as only two were necessary and manageable by Playtex.
God thought for another day about what to do
with that useless piece of human blubber.
Thus it was that, on the fifth day, man was created;
it was Adam and he said 'hiya' to Eve.
He admired Eden's nature and particularly her rosebud,

and whence it was that the big snake became apparent.

Whereupon Adam checked behind his fig leaf and said
"well, this oughta be useful."
Then, an invitation was profferred unto Eve:
"Come here, you!"
to which Eve obeyed
because she preferred that a man make the first move.
Thence they started their path out of Eden
and on to the highway to Hell (AC/DC).

Adapted wildly from "A Prairie Home Companion"- copyright
royalty-free pics from,

Saturday, 7 March 2009

Shell changes name to United Colours of Hydrocarbons

Jo Slik, the director of advertising for the newly-named company, held a news conference in London, its de facto headquarters (which has not affected its ability to avoid UK taxes through tax havens).
She parlayed a message from the company's president: "The new United (Colours of) Hydrocarbons had grown sick of hiding its rapacious behaviour behind the faux environmental image of a clean shell."
"We will use the old shell image for our renewables section and instead use the above image for our traditional polluting and raiding of the earth's plenty, e.g. oil. It's a shell spoiled by oil stains. In fact, it's swimming in crude oil. As are we. Thank you."
The pliant media had one question only, and wouldn't-you-know-it, it wasn't very critical: "I would have thought that in using 'colours' in your advertising name, that you could have used the refracting colours seen when a thin layer of oil is found on water, say... when people draw polluted water from a well, because their government refuses to use oil money to build proper water pipes, right?"
The answer was, "Very interesting. Would you like a job in our advertising department?" at which point the now-former journalist ran up on stage and fell prostrate at the rep's feet.

Image is so important in these days when advertising, media and government have melded into one great imperialist cash-grab. It was indeed the UK's former Chancellor/chancer G. Gordon (Liddy) Brown who noted that the war in Iraq was good for 'his' economy; it's the oil stupid! He said this years ago in front of a member of the media who was holding a video camera (!!) and yet it was quickly ignored, lest it wake the people from their stupor, caused by working 80-hour weeks to pay the bills.

Present at the UH conference was a critic, the shadow oil minister from an Iraqi Shia minority party, who quipped, "they could have added the deep deep red of dried Iraqi blood to the shell" The mask-wearing Niger-delta rebel representative added that his people's blood was also of a similar hue. He had in fact seen much of it being spilled by government soldiers at the behest of Shell,....uuuuh, I mean United Hydrocarbons.

[picture adapted from]