Sunday, 5 December 2010

FIFA FOFUM, I smell the FUNK of an ENGLISH PRINCE

I can't believe that England hauled out the future king to tell
a bunch of corrupt millionaire football cronies how

the English people "luuuuuv foooooootball".
He was dripping with his sanctimonious

'I- can't- believe- I- have- to- beg- you- f&^*kers' voice.

For a country like England which expects the world's respect even though it's done nothing
but destroy countries the world over, is getting some of its back. And they don't like it.

"but they promised to vote for us" they cry in hoarse voices. LOL HHHaaaAahhhaaa
They hauled out all their best wax likenesses, just for them to get egg on their lapels. 8^D

So, they get some nobodies from nowhere boinking them on the nose. Here's what the UK can do if their army is properly funded:
[read: not Iraq or Afghanistan]



-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

Thursday, 2 December 2010

How do you like my balls now?

Fookin 'ell

I know that certain countries, such as this one here (the UK), are desperate for the £3-billion windfall that the World Cup of football will bring to the host country.
They’re even upset that FIFA corruption has been found out. No time for morals, right? This is football.
How about if you knew that
FIFA doesn’t pay tax because
the UK government has made an illegal deal with them?
It’s illegal for companies not to pay tax, in the UK.
The government broke its own laws,
and we’re all paying for it.
This is David Cameron’s big society, as the Guardian sports columnist asked? Thanks but no thanks is our answer.

Do you know why they’re giving out both the 2018 and 2022 games today? To get double the bribe money, and because they realise that a legal case against them is coming in the near future, so they’re set to take the money and run. It’s just like politics.
I really accept the corruption story as necessary because
I don’t care about football.
But, I also say the same for formula 1,
which I do like, even though it’s the most boring racing around.
It’s a British fiefdom,
that’s made a used-car salesman into a billionnaire.
The money also affects the game, which is,
nevertheless, a billionaire’s game
with millionaire drivers. The whole thing is sick, so I don’t pay the £300 to watch a race. The BBC, which gets its funding from old grannies and poor workers alike, should not be paying £15 million for the rights to show Formula 1,
even if that means that F1 tv will go to pay tv,
and I don’t get to watch it, ‘cuz I don’t pay.
I just don’t like my sport sprinkled with corruption.
So, it’s all a business. All of it. They don’t need my money. How can you get excited by a business where you, as a fan, always lose? You buy a jersey, the rich get richer. You buy season tickets, the rich get richer.
I’m a hockey fan, and I had a favourite team, and a home team, but I gave it all up,
as an underemployed adult,
because the millionaire thing started to gnaw at my liver.
I like watching my country play any sport, but I realise that money affects players because the millionaires don’t care enough about their country to risk breaking a limb, because it might end their professional careers. This means that all sport is now bullsh*t. The Olympics has corruption and more lazy athletes, and drug-taking for those who are not lazy, but seeking the big payday.
It’s all bullsh*t. I take some pleasure from the spectacle, as I shut my brain off temporarily, from time to time. But the more I pay, the more it makes me sick.
-Cos67¬(%^D>

Pick me a Picasso

In honour of Picasso, here’s a painting of his hand; his right hand. He drew it out of surprise, because it was most often found up the skirt of some woman.

Although I’m not into crimes, I congratulate Picasso’s electrician for having the balls to steal hundreds of artworks from the apparently selfish bastard and his selfish children. I wonder if his family will turn around and feed some of the poor of Barcelona even, as Pablo’s hometown. They’ve taken the riches of their father and said ‘we deserve all this money’. It’s as if the Picassos, the people, don’t live in a society which provided them with everything, including peace of mind (a rare commodity today). Why don’t these ‘self-made’ people realise that they don’t deserve their millions, especially when workers in their countries are allowed to be abused with low pay, and thus a low standard of living?
Again, I don’t agree with theft, but if the electrician had any brains, he would have found a lawyer cousin, and then tried to sell the works for a million, to the mafia, and gotten rid of them. Let the mafia work for their money.
As it is, he gave it to the Picasso family, who, instead of being happy, want to put him in jail. Jail is what rich people use to get back at poor people. They use the system, but they’re ‘self-made’. The police run to protect them, but the rich are ‘self-made’.

Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers, besides being smack-taking idiots, took a unique
look at where Pablo Picasso fits into the description of
what a modern male is supposed to be like
because while he was a womaniser, the ugly bastard,
nobody every called him an 'asshole' for
verbally trying to get a piece of trim.



-cos67 ¬(%^D>

Sunday, 31 October 2010

A cure for suicidal tendencies

can't stand it on Earth?
hate your neighbours, your co-workers
and everybody else?
Can't get away from it all?

Try Mars, with NASA tours
ONE WAY!

The best part about it is,
if you're having doubts,
you can't go back anyway

You're simply not worth the return ticket

Everything will go just great,
unless that jerk who sits near the water cooler
decides to burn his bridges as well.

all you have to do is wait in a line,
until 2030.

With any luck, you might die of natural causes
or slide under a bus, by then.

Get away from the wife.
Enjoy life.
Be yourself


and, watch out for the customs inspections.
Total Recall

I'll write about this great movie later.
It's based on Philip K. Dick's book.
The story is so good that even Arnold can't screw it up.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Lord Left-hook

How shall I explain this to non-Brits? You have a guy who was picked to attract the Labour faithful, working people, because he was a working stiff, until he went to Oxford (something fishy there). Anyway, as the second pic will show, this was a politician who had no problem punching people in public. He can barely speak the language, and that's when he's not talking with his mouth full.
He thinks, er... thought that the House of Lords was for toffs. Now, 'to make his wife happy, he's allowing himself to be nominated'. Look below at the stupidity of it all.




"Oh, I don't wanna join the bluudy Hous'a'Lords!"

from the Daily Mail, 29 March, 2010:

Mr Prescott’s arrival in the upper house would cap his rise from a ship’s steward on Cunard liners to some of the highest offices of state.

It would also mark a remarkable turn-around for a man who regards himself as a working class hero.

In 2004 he railed against blue-blooded aristocrats, telling a Labour party regional conference: 'Now is the time to rid ourselves of the remaining rump of hereditaries in the Lords. They are an offence against democracy.'

In August 2008, he said he claimed he would not follow in the footsteps of other Labour grandees such as Neil Kinnock, Roy Hattersley and Denis Healey by accepting a peerage.

He said: 'I don’t want to be a member of the House of Lords. I will not accept it.'

However, Mr Prescott's love of the finer things in life is well documented. He has owned two Jaguar cars and was famously photographed playing croquet on the lawns of Dorneywood, one of the Government’s lavish grace and favour country homes.

He also once offered his wife a short drive during a party conference so she did not ruin her hairdo.

With its turrets, his constituency home is also fit for a lord. When details of MPs’ expenses were revealed last year, it emerged that Mr Prescott had claimed for having mock-Tudor beams attached to the front of his constituency property in Hull.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

give 'em sh*t, Naomi

It's no wonder Naomi Campbell is permanently pissed off.
She works in the fashion industry, right?
Well, they're so racist, they have no conception of the idea of 'flesh-tone'.

This blew up with a "flesh-colour" gown worn by Michelle Obama. White flesh. Actually, it's a bit porcine pink, as some 'white-folk' are.

Other skin-tone mistakes:
[tone: South Asia chic- Rushdie's future widow]
[tone: Doodle-Berry Bond]

I commend Venus William on her true flesh-tone panties.
You just cannot tell if she's flashing those tennis fans of hers.
[Venus snap trap]

Flesh-tone Quiz- Describe the flesh tone of the following:
1
[leopard? fish net?]

23
4
5
6
7
8
9

10 [ghost white. be-witch-ed white]

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

the problem with balloons and virginity: one prick and they're gone

[tiny bubbles. sing it!]
There must be something wrong with rubbers (prophylactics/raincoats) in this country.
The reason for my gripe? We've been giving the NHS too much work
killing foetuses. 189 000 last year.*
Don't they have something better they could be doing?

So what's the source of the problem?
1
Bad plastic?
Don't use party balloons folks.

2
people too cheap to spring for rubbers?
They can cost around 2 quid each. But when you consider the uterus vaccuum, there are other ways to define costs and benefits.

3
too horny or stupid to have rubbers?
Better to kill the kid. It'll be an idiot with parents like that, and foetal alcohol syndrome.

4
a distinct lack of sex education.
See my sex ed class ideas, from last year.
Problem solved.

By the way, Freakonomics mentioned how the legalisation of the availability of abortions in the US caused a huge fall in the crime rate, 20 years after it started. The reason? What the authors think is that kids who are not wanted or not planned, end up being raised in poor or abusive conditions which lead often to criminal behaviour. No birth, no crime. Can't argue with that.
There's something easier, though. Rubbers have been around since Cleopatra's time.
All the more reason to
think before you dink the pink!

Point of order: Casanova started the habit of using condoms as advertising of prowess,
and as a party trick.
-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

* against 706 000 live births. 4:1 ratio

checkitout: Post-renaissance science put to good use, from Wikipedia:

In 16th century Italy, Gabriele Falloppio wrote a treatise on syphilis. The earliest documented strain of syphilis, first appearing in a 1490s outbreak, caused severe symptoms and often death within a few months of contracting the disease. Falloppio's treatise is the earliest uncontested description of condom use: it describes linen sheaths soaked in a chemical solution and allowed to dry before use. The cloths he described were sized to cover the glans of the penis, and were held on with a ribbon. Falloppio claimed that an experimental trial of the linen sheath demonstrated protection against syphilis.

After this, the use of penis coverings to protect from disease is described in a wide variety of literature throughout Europe. The first indication that these devices were used for birth control, rather than disease prevention, is the 1605 theological publication De iustitia et iure (On justice and law) by Catholic theologian Leonardus Lessius, who condemned them as immoral. In 1666, the English Birth Rate Commission attributed a recent downward fertility rate to use of "condons", the first documented use of that word (or any similar spelling).
In addition to linen, condoms during the Renaissance were made out of intestines and bladder. In the late 15th century, Dutch traders introduced condoms made from "fine leather" to Japan. Unlike the horn condoms used previously, these leather condoms covered the entire penis.
Giacomo Casanova, in the 18th century was one of the first reported using "assurance caps" to prevent impregnating his mistresses.

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Thanks to CCTV, we get cheap snuff videos

Hi. It's been proved that the average person in the cities of the UK is filmed by 300 CCTV cameras per day.
And they call speed bumps 'sleeping policemen'. What about the boobs watching all those tubes?

I was always fascinated by the cop shows that are everywhere on British tv, when they showed how cctv cameras found out who had killed somebody. They follow pedestrians, cars, etc.
I used to think, great work boys.

Then I thought, why isn't any of this snooping actually SAVING any lives. Well, because the cameras are only good for post-mortem investigations.
zoom in on this, cameraman:


[lands on his feet]

[some oil with your salad?]


Stick around for some cctv snuff

bbc: cop car kills, on camera: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/7990879.stm

bird lovers kill cat lovers

Hey y'all. I love taking a chunk out of quadripede owners.
I'm particularly going to hound suburban ones this time.

I sure hope you don't like wild animals, seeing as you feed factory food to, and handle the poop of, a domesticated one. You know, you can take the animal out of the wild, but you can't take the wild out of the animal.

You'll be happy to know that, on average, cat's kill the following number of birds, annually:

UK: 27 million
US: 1.4 billion

Mostly done at night, while you're snoring.
So, save your money and kill the cat, or, put a bell on it. Otherwise you're destroying nature, what's left of it.
Aaah, that was a refreshing rant.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

checkitout:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_7890000/newsid_7894400/7894452.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/575158.stm

Monday, 24 May 2010

a lesson in naked short selling

[just a moment while I take these off]
AAAah. selling shorts while naked, as it should be. If only markets were so innocent.

That's the fun of the English language and noun phrases. Double entendre-city.

Actually, Wikipedia says that naked short-selling is:

Naked short selling, or naked shorting, is the practice of short-selling a financial instrument without first borrowing the security or ensuring that the security can be borrowed, as is conventionally done in a short sale. When the seller does not obtain the shares within the required time frame, the result is known as a "fail to deliver". The transaction generally remains open until the shares are acquired by the seller, or the seller's broker, allowing the trade to be settled.
[sexy stuff, eh?]

Now, what could be wrong with a fictitious share sale?:
One complaint about naked shorting from targeted companies is that the practice dilutes a company's shares for as long as unsettled short sales sit open on the books. This has been alleged to create "phantom" or "counterfeit" shares, sometimes going from trade to trade without connection to any physical shares, and artificially depressing the share price.[16] However, the SEC has disclaimed the existence of counterfeit shares and stated that naked short selling would not increase a company's outstanding shares.[5] Short seller David Rocker contended that failure to deliver securities "can be done for manipulative purposes to create the impression that the stock is a tight borrow," although he said that this should be seen as a failure to deliver "longs" rather than "shorts."[20]
---

You forgot the fraudulent negative-position rumours, spread by brokers, that make a stock's, or country's, fate dive!
more soon

Sunday, 23 May 2010

anybody can be somewhat famous for 15 min.s

I wonder if any of you remember watching the Wayne's World movies.
The providers of 'cable' tv are required to provide a channel or channels
for local content.
Perhaps you didn't appreciate that public-access tv was a way for
shy or crazy folks to get on tv, and try stuff to boost their confidence, or learn a trade.
Dan Akroyd and Tom Green started there.

I did it for a while. You'll never see that shown here, but anyway, it
just goes to show you, they'll let anybody do a show if he's got a decent idea,
or if they've got time. The poor quality of most of it proves that 'they're just doing what the law asks for,' and nothing more. It's more democratic than democracy.
It's not that hard to get on, because it takes a certain personality (weird or very driven). Kinda like the blogs of their day, for neurotic people to present sh*t that nobody sees.
Most normal folks would find it weird being on tv that nobody watches, with no production values.
Check this one out, from 1994. Bill Hicks, the great comedian who is no more,
visited a public access show in Houston, his home town.
No news magazine was ever as good as this show.
Set: two lousy chairs, one table with phone, two guys.
[My blog has better production values]
Notice the heavy metal nerd interviewer
(he does the 'Metal show'- d-uuuh).
Bill discussed:
Being kicked off the David Letterman show
because of the God-squaders and pro-lifers not liking his
rather mild Eastern Bunny/Cross/Jesus jokes and his pro-life joke.
He attacks Letterman's desire to keep the advertisers happy
by avoiding controversy, so that he could continue
to make money for NBC and himself.
Bill concluded that he was silenced because of commercial interests.
In fact, Bill was on public access tv because it was the only place
where he could freely denigrate commercial tv.
By the way, at the time, Bill was dying of pancreatic cancer.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

Stay calm, it's just a Miss USA pageant

[pic- Guardian- Nice tan!]

Thank God we haven't got another hypocrital Christian from California (see last year's story below).
This year's winner is of Lebanese background, and she's Muslim.
Joy and Peace to the World
Not so fast.
Tea Party-type wise guys
have found a conspiracy.
It's a Muslim conspiracy to get us to marry
cute Muslim chicks, thus becoming Muslims.
These American racists are so wise! NOT
Jackasses!

I don't care about pageants, but this one will make most of us more hopeful for world peace, except for the racist Americans who are stuck with Rima Fakih for a whole year. They'll probably protest her ribbon-cutting events.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

P.S. Rima should put some weight on.

checkitout: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/belief/2010/may/18/miss-usa-2010-rima-fakih
by Khaled Diab- Guardian

When beauty contests mix with geopolitics, things can get rather ugly. This was demonstrated last weekend by the crowning of Rima Fakih as Miss USA, the first Arab-American and Muslim to win the title.

The 24-year-old, who moved to the United States from her native Lebanon in the early 1990s, was understandably proud to become the crowned figurehead of American beauty for a year. She, her family and many Arab-Americans also hope her victory will give her embattled and distrusted community a much-needed facelift.

"My father always says, 'You don't know who you are until you know where you come from'. I believe in that," Fakih says.

Her brother, Rabih, believes his sister challenges prevalent western stereotypes of the Muslim woman: "This will show the good part of Arab-Americans. A lot of people think this area of the world is only about people being covered."

The western image of Muslim women is largely shrouded in the veils – in the form of hijabs, niqabs and burqas – of a grand patriarchal cover-up. This partly explains the mirth and amusement derived from stories of Arabs organising beauty contests for their camels and goats, or crowning Miss Beautiful Morals.

Less widely covered or known is the fact that, despite the objections of conservative Muslims, many Arab and Muslim countries run beauty contests of a similar ilk to their western counterparts. In some ways it's hardly surprising that the first Arab-American Miss USA – which I've discovered is actually different from Miss America – should happen to be Lebanese.

...

At another level, this challenges the easy and lazy stereotypes that anti-Muslim bigots depend on for their demonisation. And Fakih's victory has left the influential outer fringes of the conservative right in something of a pickle: they don't like it that an Arab and Muslim has won but are having trouble forming a coherent case against her, so instead they have resorted to bizarre conspiracy theories.

Daniel Pipes, a neocon intellectual closely linked to the former Bush administration, compiled a list of five other Muslim winners of beauty contests on both sides of the Atlantic (mostly minor ones, including Miss Nottingham 2005) asked whether this was "an odd form of affirmative action".

Conservative commentator Debbie Schlussel pulled out all the stops, using Fakih's Shia Lebanese background to brand her a terrorist "Miss Hezbollah" and dismissed the colourful business magnate Donald Trump, who is one of the sponsors of the event, as an Islamic "dhimmi".

"Mark my word. Hezbollah is laughing at us, tonight," Schlussel raged. And why? Obviously, because "one of its auxiliary members won the Miss USA title without having to do a thing to denounce them and their bloody murder of hundreds of Americans".

FOR MORE, CHECK THE GUARDIAN

Monday, 17 May 2010

devil horns rest in peace




What was once a pagan symbol for bull horns, used for warding off the devil or the malocchio (evil eye), became a symbol of heavy metal, thanks to Ronnie James Dio, and his superstitious grandmother.
This puny Pavarotti has just passed away. RIP. He had a 53-year career!!
I saw him live, leading Black Sabbath as a young lad. I was a big fan then, and still like them now.
Some of my favourite Ronnie James songs:





\m/ devil horns! R&R. Rest and repose.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

-check MTV for linking stories on RJD
checkitout: the Guardian
"http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/may/17/ronnie-james-dio-obituary">http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/may/17/ronnie-james-dio-obituary

Sunday, 16 May 2010

push the privacy, ya mama

[pic- buycostumes.com]

Every once in a while, I look around at some of the other blogspot blogs. Lately, all I'm finding is family blogs.
Husband, wife and two toothless rugrats.
All I've got say to those parents is this:
Remember when your parents used to show your nude baby pictures to anybody who would
come around?
Remember how you reacted?
cursing,
hopping around,
running away,
hiding under the rug,
kicking the dog,
crying
all the above

well, imagine how your kids are gonna feel when they
realise that they've received thousands of hits
from lord-knows-who on the Internet!
Kids:
1000s of strangers've seen
your drool,
your diapers,
your stunned look.
Please, don't kill your folks.
Just follow the instructions in the video below,
oh, and, go to your grandparents' houses,
find your parents' naked baby pics and post them on Facebook,
where your parents will never look:

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

life imitating art imitating hedge markets

I happened to be listening to the Formula one race today, on the radio.
The 'circus' was in Monte Carlo, the crowning jewel in the worldwide multi-million dollar business of 75 minute races. It's the crowning jewel because Monaco's dripping with money.
No Lidl. Needle exchange has gold-tipped syringes.
The race has been held annually for about 80 years. See below.
Here's a recent version:
Of course, being that it's the stinking rich principality that it is, all kinds of famous and rich folks were hanging around with the matador-style drivers:
J-Lo (two kids later, less of a sex kitten)
Gerard Butler (the latest Russell Crowe)
Michael Douglas (luckiest married bastard on the planet)
This last person was interviewed by BBC 5Live radio, seeing as he has a new movie
for his Gordon Gekko stock-raider character, showing over there in Cannes (pron. /Kanz/), next door.
The interviewer was pretty sharp, and asked something like:
"Doesn't Monte Carlo fit the Greed is Good motto?"*
Douglas then answered: "It epitomises that"
before he changed the subject so as not to get cornered into
a discussion of profligate wealth. He's got a few mill on the side, himself.



I guess it's a little gauche these days to enjoy wealth so openly. What a shame.
You're in the wrong town on the wrong day, pal.
I feel embarrassed, as well, for him.
I guess I should chuck my Deusenberg in the drink.

Actually, this was a case of a 'million dollar car' of its day, circa 1920.
The owner didn't want to pay the import tax at the Swiss border and sent the car
into a lake. Crazy rich f%^&*&kers. He had money to buy it, but not
enough to give some to his offshore-cum-socialist-country.
"Uuuuh. I've got some Liederhosen!? How about that?"

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>
* that was Gekko's motto.

Don't mess with Sherlock Kick-Ass Holmes

Sherlock: "I say, Watson, old chap, is that
American-aping, Guy Ritchie rubbish
that I see before me?"
Watson: "No sh*t, sir. He hasn't had a good idea since
he put his wife in a movie. Mojo's gone."
Sherlock: "AAAah. Very astute."
It's elementary my dear Tyson, I mean Watson.
Here's a classic Sherlock move. He's cornered the bad guy and that can mean only one thing:
it's time for ultimate fighting. No pipes allowed.

I don't know or care if anybody wants the Sherlock of old, but it was always about a mystery to be solved, not an arse to be kicked.
This is a movie where Hollywood's Guy Ritchie morphed one of the few bankable British characters and turned him into another Jean-Claude Van Damme rip-off.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

from Empire mag
checkitout: http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/reviewcomplete.asp?FID=135722
1 the Score-3/5
2 the gay subplot, and, 3 the farty comedy dog
"There is, undoubtedly, much to love in the Redford/Newman dynamic so lovingly, endearingly aped by Downey Jr and Law as Holmes and Watson respectively. Their incessant bickering, their clear love for one another, their escapades with various ladyfolk (who sometimes appear to exist to make it clear to the Middle-American masses that they’re not, y’know, gay or anything) and the numerous scrapes and scuffles they seem inherently predisposed to… It’s a relationship that’s both massively entertaining and convincing, and even survives the occasional bits featuring a farty comedy dog."
"A fun, action-packed reintroduction to Conan Doyle's classic characters. Part Two should provide more in the way of scope."
---end
What every Sherlock Holmes fan wants from a movie, a gassy dog.
10-year-old boys, perhaps.
I wonder
did the dog fart on cue, or
did somebody follow it around with a microphone?
Just curious. I've always wanted to be a director.

Next week:
Terms of Butt-kicking Endearment
On Brass Knuckle Pond
Ultimate Fighting: Kramer vs. Kramer

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Iggy and the Stooges- a wrinkled phenomenon

[copyright- Guardian. the London show MMX]
[copyright- Getty. the backing singers]

This is an excellent story of punk and redemption.

Quote from the concert: "When we were young, everybody said we were sh*t. Now we're old and we're gonna die! But we finally played the ^%&*(* albums" Iggy

Brief:
The Stooges of Ann Arbour, influenced by MC5 of Detroit, released a few albums and flailed about between 1968 and about 1975. Whether intentionally, or by accident, they created a new genre of music which was later called PUNK.
While they were struggling young lads, the critics were crapping on them, because critics like what they like, making them useless when they come face to mug with an astounding new genre of music that's kick-ass and life-affirming (a tough double).
Now, the Stooges're doing triumphal tours of the world, to mid-size, but delirious audiences. Critics of our day are tripping over themselves for the right to drool on these now sixty-year old guys. [see stories below]
Luckily for us, their show is not another Rolling Stones/Eagles/Status Quo world-wide sleep-a-thon:

The show
The show in London's Hammersmith Apollo was a wild punk and hard-rock show. It had a stunning punk ethic. Iggy Pop was continuously stage-diving; I jest not. He invited folks on stage and actually talked to them. As always, he was shirt-less and losing weight during the show, as his wrinkled butt-crack was showing.
Gotta admit it. I was moshing for the first time in over two decades. It wasn't like jazzer-size either. It was full contact. The tunes were frenetic and my neighbours instigated the mele.
The band had two guitarists. The one in video below died last year. The guitarist on tour this year came out of retirement, and quit his job at Sony, for the tour.

A more recent rendition of 1969 (2004). still fresh: BEWARE, it's LOUD!!!


Personal revelation
I gotta tell you, I had totally missed the boat on the Stooges as a youngster. I was only a babe when they released their first album, but that's besides the point.

1 from late 70s
I slowly discovered Iggy in my teen years, due to this video, for his song I'm Bored
from the Chairman of the Bored himself:

-Wild song. Unique. Iggy shows he's willing to go a bit further to entertain. Also, he was the antithesis of the pop star sucking up to people by being nice and pretty. Iggy is not.
Who else would sing:
"I'm sick of all my kicks. I'm sick of all the stiffs, I'm sick of all the dips."

2 mid 70s
I thought that Iggy's song, the Passenger, was written by Sixioushie (whatever)& Banshees
Shusixishi's version was comparatively weak, but still not bad. Here's the real thing:

-Wild version with great bass line. The band is not the Stooges, but some pale tall guys. Shot in Manchester, 1977.
The concept of a person being a passenger in his own life is also very heavy, man! xD

3 mid 80s
I was interested in Iggy's hard rock rebirth, with songs like Cold Metal, but in the end it was a bit empty, and I got sick of it. It was his biggest sell-out. If you insist, watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVzcs9Ygb5Q&feature=PlayList&p=6E836792F7B2A363&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=36

4 late 80s
He released a wild song, called Homeboy which was about him wanting to have a roof, and not sleep on the street:

-Lively song, even though this version is a bit slow. The official video is very good as well, but EMI won't let me embed it. Jerks. Anyway, check that out, too.

5 early 90s
Trainspotting came out and I heard Lust for Life and I thought 'he's sold out again and covered some Motown song'. How was I supposed to know that he wrote it with Bowie in the 70s? However, the song does grow on you. It's so counter-culture! xD
Here, though, is a kick-ass version filmed in Manchester, again, in 1977. For the anoracks amongst us, the band members are listed at the beginning.

-10 times louder and 10 times faster than the movie version. He mixes it up with the audience. His quote at the end says how music is like an illusion. Well anyway, I did begin to see how much he threw himself into his work. Classic lines:
"Don't wanna beat my brains, with liquor and drugs."

6 mid 90s
while he was being cool in the Coffee and Ciggies movies, he also did a totally bizarre version of a Goran Bregovic song. Mind-expanding:

-his rap and his cat, Poodles, or something. xD

7 Back to the past, Iggy!
Around 2005, I begin understanding what the Stooges were. I was pissed off that I had missed this boat. I was a big fan of the Ramones in university, and punk in general and, as far as I knew, everything had 'started with the Ramones'.
Back to the real start, in Ann Arbour, Michigan, 1968. Check out the BBC4 documentary on Motown (forgot the name). It starts off with Barry Gordie and ends with Iggy and the White Stripes, and opens the gates of Hell in the process. Riots and Punk. What a combo. It seems that the only white folks left in Detroit were the MC5, the Stooges and an assorted bunch of thrill-seeking druggies.
There was an arrest of a local 'guru' to try to kill off the scene, but the people rose up. Wild stuff.
Here's some of my favourite Stooges songs. Note how these sounds influenced later punk, how they're not just rock, and how many people and genres have ripped these guys off. You can pick up some of their influences, like Motown and the Doors. But THESE GUYS ARE WILD:

Album 1 Eponymous (1969)
Tune: 1969. 'Last year, I was 21...' and he was


I wanna be your dog 'wuff..' a nihilistic pup

check the bass line. MAGIC

no fun . I beg to differ


Album 2: Fun House (1970)

Tune- 1970. not just a theme, but another nutso song

Wild bass line again.

Album 3: Raw Power (1973). the swan songs. sqwawk!
Tune- shake appeal

gimme danger

Reminiscent of the Doors

search and destroy

It reminds me a bit of the Ramones.
"Hands full of Napalm. A runaway son of a Nuclear A-bomb"
Vietnam and Hiroshima, in one tune. How's that for nihilism?

This, as you can tell, is my band of the month, maybe longer. Try it at home. Play safe. Don't stage dive over the couch.

Do you want to go further back? Check the Sonics from Seattle. They're acknowledged as the nutty lads who gave 60s garage and garage punk a start. Wildest song: the Witch.

Epilogue:
The Stooges started up at about the same time as Black Sabbath, the fathers of Heavy Metal.
They even had some similarities in the way they used guitar and bass to weave a web of nihilistic feelings and dejection with reality, not to mention the psychotically-tinged lyrics from the edge of the cliff. I wish I could perambulate!

Compare them with all the flatulent, introspective 1970s wankery that we were raised to adore:
the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zep, Clapton.


[retrospective on CNN]
March 2010: These boys were inducted into the R&R Hall of Fame in Cleveland, the mistake by the lake.

Here's 'I wanna be your dog', at the ceremony. I could show you the speeches, but they're weird.
Iggy is full of circumstance. Billie Joe Idiot of Green Day is so sycophantic, it's ill! When he mentioned Iggy's nice smile, Iggy spat on the floor in a ballroom! In front of the camera! Now, all you'll get to see is Billie Joe dry humping Iggy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPymzatl2xg&feature=related (sorry, can't embed it)

Iggy has seen every drug known to mankind, and has been a dog, has cut himself, has sold out so many times, but the look he gives Billie is priceless, like: "That boy is f^&*ked up."

There must be some sense of justice for the Stooge boys that, after so many years, their music has been classed as 'classic', 'genre-breaking' and some of the best albums in the History of Rok (not to mention some of Iggy's gems, above). For that reason, they're probably not grumpy old men.
Devil horns. (_) /

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

phosphorus is a piece of piss

You've probably heard how our feces could be classified as toxic waste, we're so full of chemicals.
But, did you know that your urine hides a secret weapon?
Yup, phosphorus.
Some 3 centuries ago, some wingnut was trying to make the philosopher's stone, the thing that would turn stuff into gold. Alchemy, for short.
Instead, he discovered something that glowed like a UFO.



So, when Israel rained phosphorus on Gaza, they weren't only breaking international law, they were pissing on their captive Arab neighbours.

PlasticTraveller: an adventure in zooicide

our garbage is floating around the world in the oceans.
Popular destinations:
Hawaii
Midway atoll
The stomachs of birds, fish, etc.

If you have ever thrown a plastic bag into an open-top garbage can, onto the street,
or into a landfill, it has probably long-since flown away and into an ocean near you.
If only they had cameras strapped to them.
stats: 1 million bags used per minute.
the % of recycling for plastic bags: 0.0 "diddley point squat"

See if you can list the types of plastic crap that they show below. You'll need lots of paper.

In the end, it goes up the food chain, and back to us!
What a trip, man!









I'm a fierce recycler and re-user and non-consumer, and still, I hung my head when I saw this suicidal behaviour we're engaged in.
If you're not doing everything you can (short of going nuts) to limit your participation, then I wish you sweet dreams; those of the ignorant.

For what it's worth, I've stopped buying plastic bottles because the chemicals leech into the body and mimic female hormones, giving you man-boobs.
The thing that bottled water taught us is not that the water in the bottle is better, but the convenience of the bottle. The water is crap, from a tap (some of it). Just use glass and re-fill it.

Look at this video on consumption and how we're being played for fools:

We are consuming and polluting. Out of sight, into the Pacific.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>

tatooed people can be weird and boring

[pic - stylestattoo]
What's the difference between having one tattoo, and covering a whole section of your body?

It's almost quaint today to see someone moved to put an indellible image on their bodies.
How many times have you said 'Aw shucks' when you saw a pretty design in the small of a young woman's back?

Others have poked holes in their faces and tongues. It's all okay now, within reason.
I have a problem with guys who cover whole sections of their bodies.
a whole arm
the whole back
both tits
an entire forearm
a calf
a whole noggin

What would you think of a person who plans out something artistic for months and says,
"I gotta do this and that. I gotta cover the whole thing""I just gotta".
I'd say, "get over yourself". They turn into busy-body perfectionists, like the employed people that they make fun of.
Tattooed types always fancy themselves as counter-culture and oh-so-cool.
I think their self-image doesn't match with the perfectionism of their actions.
Those types are as anal as a middle manager in the government.
That kind of internal conflict can make them a bit touchy.
Keep your distance.

case in point:
Metro News - May the fourth be with him:
"Star Wars fan Luke Kaye would really love to live on Tatooine. After all, with 14 tattoos covering his body, he'd fit right in. Mr. Kaye, 42, got his first in of Yoda five years ago- and hasn't looked back since. 'I will not stop until I am happy - I am nowhere near finished yet,'...'I want to add more characters to for a sleeve on my arm and move on to getting full-size spaceships down my sides'...Girlfriend Debbie...is very understanding."
----end
[Looks more like Pizza the Hut, or for spy fans, Fot Bosturd.]

That's what makes me laugh about Sandra Bullock. She married one of those boys.
He f$^&^ked around on her. She looked surprised!
She's always struck me as anal, anyway.

-Cos67 ¬(%^D>
checkitout: www.metro.co.uk/weird/824409-star-wars-fan-luke-kaye-has-14-tattoos-and-is-not-finished-yet

Saturday, 24 April 2010

Avatar Ishtar

You know that film-makers are in trouble when they reach for the 3D schtick.
It means their movies stink, and they have no imagination left.
Things were great when Arnold and Clint ruled. All they needed were explosions and guns.
Folks seem to be sick of that, and film-makers actually hate telling proper stories.

So, here we are with Avatar. The BBC 5Live critic just crapped on it as being mostly about the technology and not the story.
She said that 3D was better in the '50s.
I beg to differ. The '80's were a seminal period, in more ways than one, for the third dimension.

The center of the 3D world was Second City Television
and YouCatso Home Video:

The Doctor Tongue quadrilogy

swinging at ya: stewardess hump-humps


on your suit: wax


hopping your way: IHOP*


food poisoning projectile vomit: Beef stake


-Cos67 ¬(%^D>
* International House of Pancakes (US)