Saturday 30 January 2010

10 scariest tv scenes of all time

Byline: 3D scariness and savageness produced by the Ministry of Violence

I esplain to you: Many channels in the UK do top 100 shows to fill in their schedules. One of the latest was the hundred scariest movie scenes. This is my ode to them:

On your tv. In your home. served up for you. Blood, guts and death.
you probably don't even realise that people are suffering, the producers do such a good
job of presenting it as entertainment.
They deserve awards, each of the news programmes listed below:

Starting of with number ten, with a bullet

# 10 Phosporus raining down on Fallujah, 2004
BBC Nightly news

Rocketing up from Hell:
# 9 Phosporus raining down on Gaza, 2009
Sky News

8 Agent orange hits Vietnamese village, 1972
CBS
Naked kids running in the streets with burning flesh.

7 Neutron bomb on Hiroshima, 1945
Newsreel
-before, during and after
-body parts falling off
-barbequed skin.

6 coming soon , with photos

5

4

3

2

1

-C

Monday 18 January 2010

British case for invading Iraq: WMD in a bag

Byline: Former PM goes from plotting war (bloody),
to peaceifying the Middle-East (failure),
to handbag* salesman

The Iraq Inquiry, presently going on in London, is slowly revealing the things that we already know about how the Iraq plotters
(Smiley and Monkey Boy)
pulled their high-school prank on the world, complete with juvenile skullduggery, plagiarism and "Well...Sadam started it" stories.
What we didn't know is that PM Blair had secret knowledge of Niger intelligence on
'newly' acquired mobile Iraqi WMD delivery systems
(last seen used in WW2 Hawaii by Mata Hari)
,
from a source deep within MI6, the MP Cell (see video below).
The secret weapon possessed by Saddam Hussein?
A hidden tactical nuclear weapon capable of striking at close range,
within 45 minutes.
Hidden where, you ask?

why, in handbags, of course.
Mighty close! very mobile!
The MP Cell demonstrates:

I know this sounds weird, but the former prime minister of the UK, Anthony Blair has been hired by a company that makes, amongst other things, handbags; not to mention their champagne, the brandy and DeBeers (they of the 'blood diamond trade'). The company, Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessey (LVMH), must have great powers of persuasion, having also taken Mikhail Gorbachev on its books.
h-mmm!
Former world leaders just ...selling ridiculously expensive or unethical stuff?
orrrr a public front for the new world order?
Balderdash, you say?
That's the password at the front door at LVMH: Balderdash.

-Cos67 ~(%^D>

* purses, for North Americans

checkitout:
Tanya Gold So Tony Blair has found his natural home- selling handbags.... The Guardian G2 pg5 Tuesday 12 Jan, 2010
some quotations: (copyright, the Guardian)
-'Louis Vuitton spent the war years, according to Stephanie Bonvinci in her book...manufacturing busts of Marshal Petain for Nazi collaborators to use as doorstops, or weapons.'
-'De Beers diamonds-which was implicated by the UN in the diamond wars in the Congo.'
-'the man who rebranded the Labour movement also loved to rebrand himself.'
-"he took us further into the temple of pointless greed and consumerism. The gulf between rich and poor became a chasm."
-"[Alastair] Campbell writes...'TB was wearing Nicole Farhi shoes, ludicrous-looking lilac-coloured pyjama-style trousers and a blue smock,'...'I said he looked like Austin Powers.' "