Monday 16 November 2009

animals out of time and place

[pic- the aggrieved tree]
[pic- the perpetrator]

The jailing of animals for ...acting naturally, is the next big reality show.
This is a simple story. Animals, which once ruled the wilds of Britain, are more typically found in wildlife parks, as was this beaver, Mrs B (an inmate at Paradise Wildlife Park in Broxbourne). She had the temerity to escape by digging through a pond.
To make matters worse, she attacked a golf course. The nerve! Will those animals never learn not to mess with OUR environment?
When it comes down to it, who cares?
even if you ask golfers, who can be bitches,
who cares if a beaver chews on a tree on a golf course?
Beavers gnaw on trees. Get over it!
Why is necessary to lock this animal up for acting naturally?

We musn't forget, beavers are a protected species. They're protected, in nature reserves; protected from US! We've taken their land and lifestyle. Wow! I just had an idea; we did the same to the antipodean and American aboriginals.

Watch how easily we consume the language of jail and criminality as they're applied to a wild animal. Our control over nature is getting just too anally-retentive.

Last question: How the hell did they recognise a missing beaver?
Oh...she's the only one.
CSI Hertfordshire was thinking
"Just wait. One day she'll chew on a tree, somebody will bitch and then we'll nab 'er."

Last comment: The cultural reference for the tired commuters reading Lite (now defunct) was the Caddyshack movie, a Shakespeare ouvre. In it, a rodent gofer bespoiled the pristine, anal, surroundings of ...yes, a golf course.

Advert: Come play a round at Anal-land golf course. We manicure nature, and drain the water table, so that you can play, without having to fear attack from animals, all you tired, cart-riding, brain-dead suburban managers skiving off work.

Moto: Golf, the game of intellectuals.
[pic- oklahomaprogressivevoice.org]

UPDATE:
This from the Scottish brethren of Mrs. B, the 10 hi-tech, chipped beavers wreaking havoc in the Highlands, from the Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/dec/06/beavers-scotland-controversy-tim-adams

Return of the dammed
-Cos67 ~(%^D>
checkitout:
London Lite Nov 13, 2009 Ken Widdop Fore! Er no, gnaw! Beaver chews up golf course after escape from captivity