Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Para-olympian found to be juiced

The winner of the 100 meter dash in London's para-olympics
was disqualified because his sled was found to be
electrified, or 'juiced' as they say in the underworld
of sports cheating.

There were a few hints of the intent to defraud.
Firstly, the right armrest had a gear shift.

[the Bolt]
Secondly, after races, it appeared to have a stereo
playing a Queen song and the words:
"thunderbolt of lightning, very very frightening me"

Thirdly, the model is called the Bolt and so everyone
thought that it was a play on, or a rights-
borrowing, from Jamaica's greatest son
Usain Bolt. It turns out that the chair is more
akin to a bolt of lightning, i.e. electricity.

disgraced, the athlete was soon found hitting the
bottle and making a nuisance of himself, with his
get-away vehicle:

[Jousting, at dawn]

[call out your floor]

[DIY destructo]