Monday, 15 April 2013

My pets are my family

What a miserable existence. To be unable to trust, care about
or have any meaningful relationship with humans. Those
are the losers who not only keep pets, but leave them
all their money when they kick off.

I guess if you're capable of killing for a bit of peace
and quiet, then maybe pets are better for you. It
just seems like nature's way of saying humans
are useless. All the wealth accrual being lost
because Human X was too stupid to figure out
how to engage with other humans, and because
they have money, they don't have to. So nyah!

It sure explains why most Brits are such animal
lovers. It also helps if you keep dogs that you
don't invite humans in , because dogs make
houses stink like a Bombay whorehouse.

Of course, having that kind of money can lead
to self-destructive behaviour, like gambling:

Hey, you British animal lovers.
Here's how to handle the executor

[get a good pair of boots]

Checkit: Metro
Pets set to inherit 1.5 million fortunes
Almost 1.5 million Britons will leave money
to pets when they die making Fido and
Tiddles the sixth most popular beneficiaries of wills
it is claimed. Nearly 29 million will leave
everything to their children...